Finn is strutting down the hallway of the school. You can practically hear the Bee Gees soundtrack playing in his head. Girls make eyes at him, and he makes finger guns in response. His voice-over tells us that since he won the big game (in February, in Ohio), he's had a mojo infusion: "I'm walking taller, carrying a bigger stick, and using it to fight off the ladies." Those of you who need a minute to recover from the thought of Finn's bigger stick are hereby excused -- you can rejoin us after you've had a chance to compose yourselves. As Finn puts away his finger guns, he's approached by Becky, who declares her love for him and hands him a candy heart. He refuses to commit to being her Valentine, and we see why as he opens the door to his locker -- he's got a cup full of candy hearts given to him by other girls. He's in a quandary about which of his many admirers to choose, but we all know that he really just wants Quinn. Because after breaking up with the girl who cheated on you, the best thing to do is get back together with a different girl who cheated on you. As he makes eyes at Quinn, she looks back, arousing Sam's suspicion. Finn decides he needs to pry her away from Sam by getting her to kiss him again. Finn VO: "The ridiculous thing is that I could get every girl in this school to kiss me but her. Game on."
Coffee shop. Kurt and Blaine are in line to order, and they comment on all the Valentine's Day bric-a-brac littering the store. Kurt is, surprisingly, a total cynic about the holiday, while Blaine is a hopeless romantic. In fact, he's planning something really dramatic and wants Kurt's advice. It seems that Blaine has set his eye on a certain unnamed lad that he's known for only a little while, and he wants to know whether Kurt thinks it's too much to sing to someone on Valentine's Day. Seeing as how Kurt thinks Blaine is planning on singing to him, Kurt's cynicism disappears, and he tells Blaine to go for it. His hopes are raised even higher when they get to the counter and Blaine automatically knows Kurt's coffee order. Which, if that's a sign of love, means the cashier at the Caribou in D.C. was totally in love with me, and I went and moved back to Boston without even saying goodbye. I'm such a heartless bastard. Anyway, Kurt has now decided that Valentine's Day is just nifty.
Music room. Will writes "love" on the white board, and tells the assembled Gleesters that he has just one word for them. Brit-Brit raises her hand and asks if that word happens to be "love." Hearing that it is, she waves her hands victoriously and tells Artie, "I'm totally going to graduate now." Will's assignment is for each student to pick a partner and sing to that person what the singer thinks is the world's greatest love song. The couples in the room are thrilled, while Mercedes rolls her eyes so hard, I fear she will morph into Santana right before our eyes. If I'm doing my math right, this pairing up will leave two girls in a pair (since the club now has five boys and seven girls). Which raises the prospect of another Mercedes/Santana duet, which would be awesome. But we'll have to see how that mathematical conundrum is resolved at a later time, because Finn interrupts to make an announcement. He's noticed that it's been an entire week since anyone in Glee Club has been slushied, and he thinks that's due to his having won the big game, with his aura of popularity protecting the rest of them from attack. I'd like to point out that nine of the kids in this room were on the field for at least some part of the big game, so maybe the entire school is appreciative of all of their efforts. But the episode is all about Finn's swollen ego, so I won't puncture his illusions.