It's time for Sectionals, and Will plans the same kind of Rachel/Finn-centric, classic rock set list he favors for every competition. And then he gets some good advice from Emma -- to stop doing the same damn thing over and over again in competition -- but he manages to do it in such a way as to piss everybody off, nearly destroying the club. However, it all comes together in the end -- the kids put on a great show, with Quinn and Sam singing lead, and then a second song highlighting the amazing dancing of Brit-Brit and Mike Chang. And then the a-dolterous writers cop out by having New Directions tie with the Warblers, letting both teams move on to Regionals. Oh, and Puck manages to recruit Lauren Tuna to the club, giving them the crucial 12th member they need now that Kurt is off to sing with the Warblers.
Speaking of Kurt and the Warblers, he's having trouble dealing with being in a place where he doesn't stand out so much. (Having to wear the exact same clothes as everyone else surely can't be helping. It's unnatural.) Blaine tries to help out, getting Kurt a chance to audition for a solo. After getting some advice from Rachel, he sings beautifully, but doesn't get the solo. But he does get lots of sexy glances from Blaine, so that has to count for something. Also, he manages not to kill the team's canary mascot.
The rest of the show is filled with relationship drama. Brit and Mike Chang are spending lots of time together preparing their dance solo, so Artie and Single-T Tina decide the two of them must be cheating (which leads Single-T Tina to attempt to keep Mike's interest by dressing as a goth cheerleader). Of course, they're not -- Brit's just avoiding Artie because she lost his magic, lice-ridden comb. So both couples kiss and make up. Finn and Rachel are having troubles after Santana drops the bomb that she and Finn totally did it. Rachel is pissed that Finn lied to her, and also pissed that he slept with Santana, because she is totally threatened by her spicy Latina hotness. They make up, and then Rachel reveals that she made out with Puck while mad at Finn. So Finn breaks up with her. And Emma agrees to come to Sectionals with Will. Until Hot Dentist Carl asks her to please avoid hanging out with the guy who tricked her into doing a dirty dance with him. Instead of going to Sectionals, she goes to Vegas with Hot Dentist Carl and gets married. Let's see how long that lasts.
Featuring "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" from Evita, the Zutons' "Valerie," "(I've Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing, Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over," Mike and the Mechanics' "The Living Years" (sung by the delightful senior citizens of the Hipsters), and the inevitable performance of Train's "Hey, Soul Sister" (sung by the total gaywads of the Warblers). It had to happen sooner or later.
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Ah, it's that time of the year already. The time when the discovery of sexual infidelity throws the entire Glee Club into chaos, when it becomes essential to recruit a substitute member for the club so they can qualify to compete, and when the Glee Club performs a last-minute set list as though they had been practicing for months. That's right, it's Sectionals!
Will slides two tickets to Sectionals across the table to Emma. You might think he's making a peace offering and giving her a pair of tickets so she can bring Hot Dentist Carl. But you'd be wrong -- he's just inviting her to come along as his plus-one. He tells her that she's a good-luck charm for the team, and then starts to tell her about his "killer set list." Emma: "No, let me guess. Finn and Rachel are gonna do a ballad, right? Followed by the kids joining in with a classic rock number where Mercedes will belt out the last, jaw-dropping note." Will: "Have you been going through my desk?" No, just reading the Internet. He thinks he's just been trying to feature the team's strongest features, but Emma tells him that seeing all of the kids performing Rocky Horror reminded her how many really talented kids there are in the club. While she babbles on, you can see the wheels creaking to life in Will's head. Of course, they're helped along by some of the product that has seeped in through his scalp.
Cut to Will walking in to the music room. Rachel jumps to her feet with an idea about the ballad she and Finn will sing at Sectionals. Will actually acts like a teacher and makes her wait until he's made his announcement. Which is that their competition at Sectionals aren't known for their dancing prowess, so he plans to have the club perform a number that features the outstanding dancing of Mike Chang and Brittany S. Pierce. Rachel worries that their flying limbs will obscure the audience's view of her during her solo, so Will tells her that she's not getting a solo during the competition. Instead, he wants to feature the winners of the duets competition. Which, thanks to the scheming of Rachel and Finn, was Quinn and Sam. Rachel pitches a fit, accusing Will of trying to throw the competition. Quinn: "You used to be just sort of unlikable, but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth." Will tells the kids that he's talked the talk about them all being stars, but he hasn't walked the walk. I think he'll be okay, so long as he doesn't try to do both at once. Rachel tries to get Finn to intercede on her ego's behalf, which leads to a lot of bickering between the kids, which in turn leads Santana to drop the bomb that she and Finn did the nasty last year. Will finally drops the hammer on the bicker-fest and calls on Mike and Brit-Brit to join him to start planning the big dance number. Title card.