Episode Report Card
LTG: B+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Cry for Glee, Artie and Tina

Will's office. Puck declares that he is innocent of stealing any soda machine or other vending-related apparatus. Will pretends to ignore him and then calls on him, as the most well-known kid in the school, to recruit a twelfth member of the team so they can compete at Sectionals. Will wants him to be Glee's ambassador. Puck's willing to do it, but only if he can call himself the ambadassador.

Cut to the amazing rotunda of Dalton. Where do they film this shit? The Christian Science mother church in Boston? Anyway, Kurt is swanning down the grand staircase when Blaine runs to catch up with him. It turns out Blaine noticed that Kurt was feeling a little oppressed by the crushing machine of conformity that is the Warblers, and he's there to offer him a reward for not fighting back against said crushing machine -- a chance to audition for a solo at Sectionals. Kurt's happy. Whereas I'm sad, because I just noticed that his jaunty rhinoceros is gone. Aren't rhinos endangered enough without the crushing machine of conformity coming after them?

Crowded locker room. Puck climbs on top of a bench and calls for attention. To Azimio's dismay, he's not up there to light his farts on fire -- he's there to recruit for Glee Club, by calling on the jocks to all think of themselves as potential Springsteens, escaping blue-collar life through the power of music. Although Puck has a glorious moment of telling Karofsky to shut up as penance for chasing Kurt away, his mission is a failure, as the rest of the jocks dogpile on top of him. And not in a sexy way.

Music room. The Glee Club (sans Puck) is waiting on Mr. Schue. Santana wonders where Puck is, noting that he hasn't been seen for a day. I hope Karofsky isn't keeping him tied up at home as his love slave. Mercedes thinks he's quit the club rather than face the possibility of losing at Sectionals. Will arrives to hear this last bit. He also hears the kids go on to complain about their own lack of solos and make plans to treat the Warblers rudely for stealing Kurt. (Brit-Brit's idea? "If we lose, we should throw possums.") Rachel enters wearing a piece of duct tape over her mouth to protest her lack of solos. Will loses it, yelling at her to take off the tape and lose the bad attitude, and then goes on to tell the rest of the club to stop being so selfish and that they're going to be good sports at Sectionals. And then Puck enters, accompanied by Lauren Tuna. Artie asks him where he's been, and Lauren Tuna tells us that she found him in a port-a-potty.

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