Just then, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen materializes behind Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel to greet her in what I'm guessing is his version of an Australian accent because Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen has developed a split personality since last we saw him because why the hell not? The bespectacled Australian version of Lady Lips is supposedly the American version's identical twin brother, "Evan Evans," and Australian Evan is constantly slipping away in the most blatant manner imaginable to trade places with American Sam, and you'll forgive me for getting so spoilery so early in the episode, but this twin thing is a gag they run straight into the ground well before the evening's events have run their course, so you'll also forgive me for devoting as little time to it as possible. Thanks!
Anyway, as Australian Evan ducks around a corner to transform into American Sam, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's Voiceover attributes Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's odd behavior to separation anxiety because Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel is now a renowned psychologist in addition to being an era-defining singer-songwriter. What the fuck ever, Glee. Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel finally passes into the choir room proper, where she finds Not-So-Unique scarfing down birth control pills because Not-So-Unique heard that two hits of Loestrin a day "will turn [her] Bs into Ds in no time," and I suppose I should note that this odd example of modern-day product placement has been brought to you by the good people of Warner Chilcott Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Try some of their easy-to-swallow delayed-release mesalamine tablets for your moderately active ulcerative colitis today!
And after a bit more business involving The Two Faces Of Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's Voiceover expresses her wish to have one of her original songs performed in competition, and I think this is the longest I've listened to her dreary, drippy ass in months. Fortunately, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's Voiceover finally shuts up at this point because Mr. Schue's just now arrived from points elsewhere with news of this year's Regionals theme. "Sweaters?" Brit-Brit guesses. "Dreams," Mr. Schue scrawls on the whiteboard. "So close," Brittany sighs. Mr. Schue does his level best to ignore her, and instead notes, "As you know, some of the past judges we've had haven't been that bright -- or that sober -- so our best bet is to take this 'Dream' theme literally." To that end, he proposes they open with "Dream Weaver," follow that up with one of the many songs entitled "Sweet Dreams," and end it all with yet another version of "You Make My Dreams Come True."