Sweet Dreams

Episode Report Card
admin: D+ | 1 USERS: B+
I Should Hate You The Whole Night Through

Music Room. Mr. Schue arrives from his late disappointment over at The University Of Lima to begin Regionals rehearsals, but before he finishes his introductory spiel, Dreamboat Blaine raises his hand to admit that the kiddies got together and came up with a set list of their own. "Why would you do that?" Mr. Schue snaps. "Oooh!" Not-So-Unique hoots, digging around inside her bra for a cutlet, which she passes to Blaine with a sassy, "You might need some woman parts to sell that!" No, I don't get it, either, but hey: It sounded funny. In any event, there follows another tiresome bit of business involving The Lady Lips Has Two Faces before Mr. Schue completely loses his shit over the children's supposed defiance, yelling at Urethra Franklin to "tone it down with the whole boob thing" and castigating Dreamboat Blaine for the latter's apparent insubordination. The kiddies all get looks on their faces like, "What crawled up your ass and exploded?" but they remain silent as Mr. Schue rants and raves and howls and shrieks until he stomps on out of there is a pissy snit. DUN!

Fake Drama School In New York, Temporarily Sober Dance Division. The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway's commandeered the studio for her last-minute audition prep, and she's about to launch into her version of "Don't Rain On My Parade" when Idina Menzel comes a-wandering into the room. "I always seem to find you at the piano, rehearsing," Idina Menzel smiles. Old Idiot Rachel goes near-ultrasonic with the squealing and such and, after the two have hugged, they catch each other up on recent events in their respective lives. If you must know, Idina Menzel's now living in the city with her adopted daughter, and she's running "this new Broadway daycare business," but she didn't haul her cookies all the way over to Fake Drama School just to chat about her new career. No, she's actually there to offer Old Idiot Rachel a few words of advice regarding her impending audition, starting with this: "They cast Barbra as Fanny because she was one of a kind -- she was an original. If the producers are smart, they're not gonna be looking for some carbon copy. They're gonna want a fresh interpretation -- someone who can put their own stamp on the role." To that end, all of La Streisand's greatest hits are out as potential audition pieces, much to Old Idiot Rachel's predictable disappointment, but fear not! Idina Menzel's brought the sheet music to a little ditty that might just work, and with that, the two launch themselves into a completely unimaginative but excellently sung cover of Emeli Sandé's "Next To Me." And when the deliriously spinny camerawork is done, Old Idiot Rachel and Idina Menzel hug one more time before vanishing into this evening's next commercial break.

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