University Of Lima. Old Puck enters the dorm room he now shares with Frankendrunk, and long story short, Bloaty The Cocaine Clown's already flunking all his classes, which Old Puck finds troubling because the script says he must. The incredibly haggard-looking thirtysomething nineteen-year-olds yammer away at each other for a while, and in the end, they agree to try harder. I think. I mean, I'm pretty sure. Oh, fuck it: Please don't make me watch that again! Please? I'm nearly positive none of it will matter next week, and this ridiculous University Of Lima storyline has sucked out loud all night long, so can I just blow it off and move on to the next scene? Huh?
The Once And Future Office Of Sue Sylvester. Dreamboat Blaine and Becky Jackson arrive for their first meeting with Black Sue, the latter of whom orders them to sit down so she might speechify at them like so: "It is my understanding that I have inherited you as co-captains of The Cheerios. And by looking at the two of you right now, that makes me extremely suspicious." "Why?" Dreamboat Blaine wonders, playing along. Black Sue promptly pretends to mistake Becky for Coach Sylvester's long-forgotten daughter, and rants at length regarding that for a bit before refocusing her attentions on Dreamboat Blaine. "You're the one that makes me suspicious, Fruity Fonzie," Black Sue insists. "You ain't never done a cheerleading routine in your life, but somehow, you get Sue Sylvester to make you co-captain of The Cheerios, and then three weeks later out of nowhere Sue Sylvester gets fired? That makes me real suspicious." "Please elaborate," I suppose Blaine suggests because he's unfailingly polite like that. "That makes me think," Black Sue obliges, "that you used your handsome fruity voodoo powers and put a hex on her that caused her to bring a gun to school for no reason and get real clumsy so she drops it -- twice -- and it goes off both times. That sounds like some dark-sided fruity-voodoo stuff to me!" "But it didn't really happen!" Becky protests. "Blaine had nothing to do with it!" "How do you know?" Black Sue challenges her. "Were you there?" "No," a suddenly cowed Becky LIES, but something in her tone makes Dreamboat Blaine shoot a shocked and appalled side-eye in her general direction.
And as the gears grind away deep inside Dreamboat Blaine's artfully-shellacked head, Black Sue continues, "Exactly, so here's the deal: If you want to stay onboard as co-captain of The Cheerios, you're gonna have to take a blood oath and loyalty pledge." For whatever stupid reason, Dreamboat Blaine does not take this opportunity to resign from the cheerleading squad he never wanted to join in the first place, and he instead asks, "Is that even safe?" Probably not, Black Sue admits, so they'll be skipping over the blood part to go straight to the pledge, which sounds a little like this: "I, Fruity Fonzie and Adult Baby Robin, do solemnly swear to neeeeeeh-ver put a hex on Coach Roz Washington, causing her to bring a gun to school so she gets real clumsy and drops it, and it goes off twice in a row, so help me God." Becky and Blaine do their best to replicate Black Sue's unique intonations on all of that, and once they're done, Black Sue rather curtly shows them the door.