In any event, once things really get going, The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway of course feels a need to assert her presence, so she interjects a few lines of the truly awful "Turkey Lurkey Time" from Promises, Promises into the proceedings, thereby officially turning this number into another medley, but to be honest with you, I really don't care. After The Swallows' rage-inducing performance at Sectionals, this entire sequence is just too fun for me to bitch about. Though I gotta wonder what all these freeloaders are gonna do when they figure out there's no booze. Drag Queen Revolt!
Meanwhile, back in Ohio, Sue, Emma and Will make appearances in the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion audience just so Jane Lynch, Jayma Mays and Matthew Morrison can pick up their paychecks for the week, and then The Rosedale Mennonites take the stage to offer us their versions of "Over The River And Through The Wood" and "She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain," and you know what? Still better than The Swallows.
The curtains close once the Mennonites are done, and as the children of The New New Directions take their positions on the risers, Dreamboat Blaine's cell phone starts a-buzzing in his pocket, and it's St. Gay Of Lima, calling from the fire escape outside his Improbably Bohemian Bushwick Loft. I'll ignore the fact that I'm apparently meant to believe Dreamboat Blaine would carry his phone onto the stage for a performance and focus instead on what these two have to say to each other and... nope, not happening. Never cared about their boring relationship, never will. Long story short, they agree to meet in person during Christmas to hash things out -- again, some more -- and when the call is over, St. Gay Of Lima wanders back into the loft proper to receive a slow-motion Hug Of Infinite Understanding from Sarah Jessica Parker, who really needs to find some friends her own goddamned age. Also: This evening's final commercial break.