Episode Report Card
Demian: D | Grade It Now!
In Which We Give Thanks That New Rachel Is Dead

And when it's over, Santana glances over at Boring New Idiot Rachel and inquires, "Are you feeling okay? You look like you're gonna hurl." Oops. SPOILERS! Boring New Idiot Rachel mumbles some dumb excuse for her listless demeanor as of late and bolts, leaving us free to follow...

...The Quinns out into the hallway, where New Quinn confesses, "I idolize you!" "You're Cheerios royalty!" New Quinn insists, opening her locker to display the Old Quinn shrine she's established therein, including a photo of her idol beneath a small banner that asks, "WWQFD?" "Every day," New Quinn reveals, "I ask myself, 'What would Quinn Fabray do?'" She wouldn't suck as hard as your one-note ass does, that's for goddamn sure. It was a huge mistake -- HUGE -- to pair the old and the new versions of these characters with each other tonight because it's just reminding us how frigging dull the new versions really are. In any event, The Quinns get to gossiping about Boring New Idiot Rachel and the latter's burgeoning relationship with New Puck, with New Quinn swiftly and easily convincing Old Quinn that New Puck's only in it for The Sex, and with that, we head...

...right down the hallway, where Boring New Idiot Rachel and New Puck are currently flirting with each other. Yawn. New Puck admits he intentionally threw the dance audition in order to remain in New Finn's good graces, after which Boring New Idiot Rachel begs off lunch because She's Got An Eating Disorder, and with that, we're off to...

...Fake Drama School In New York, Temporarily Sober Dance Division. Dean Geyer enters to announce that, as Drunk Kate Hudson's currently sleeping off a hangover of truly epic proportions, he will be instructing the freshman class today. He orders everyone to pair up for a foxtrot, deliberately selecting The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway as his own partner after she tosses him some unnecessarily snotty and petulant attitude. She's still pissed off he slept with Drunk Kate Hudson, you see, even though she was supposedly still dating Bloaty The Gravy Clown at the time, and she continues to blow attitude about it directly into his face until he rather magnificently shuts her down like so: "Why do you care who I sleep with? We're not in high school anymore -- we're adults, making adult choices, and you made yourself unavailable. Don't be that crazy girl who expects people to read her mind." Preach! The Horrible Hooker protests that it doesn't take a mind reader to know how much she loathes Drunk Kate Hudson, and she argues that Dean Geyer should have avoided his recent dalliance with her "mortal enemy" based upon that fact alone. Dean Geyer, bless him, quickly realizes this is a debate he'll never, ever win given how batshit insane Old Idiot Rachel so clearly is, so he promises never to bang Drunk Kate Hudson again, the better to preserve whatever friendship he's got going with The Horrible Hooker. Not worth it, Dean Geyer. Oh, so totally not worth it.

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