...Bowling Green Tech's comfortable-looking library, where Santana crams for a sociology exam until her lesbian Spidey-sense starts a-tingling. She turns around to find a preternaturally unblinking Virginia Woolf fangirl giving her The Eye, which Santana returns after a moment of hesitation. DUN!

Smear back to the present, where Santana's voice breaks as she admits she felt an attraction to that vaguely predatory presence in the college library. "And that happens," she shrugs, sadly and helplessly, before she moves a little closer to Brittany for what follows. "Let's just do the mature thing, okay?" Santana asks. "This is not an official breakup," she insists, "but let's be honest that long-distance relationships are almost impossible to maintain, because both people are rarely getting what they need, especially at our age." Finally -- finally! -- someone speaks the truth during this episode! Poor little Brit-Brit, however, bursts into tears at that and protests, "This sounds a lot like a break up to me." "You know this isn't working," Santana gently replies before adding, "You know I will always love you the most." This results in another round of weeping from Brittany, who cries, "I love you, too!" as Santana pulls her into a hug, and if I had a heart, it would probably be breaking right about now. Bright side? This clears the way for that Brit-Brit-and-Lady-Lips hookup I know everyone's been positively clamoring for since this season began. Hooray!

Yes, that was sarcasm.

Elsewhere, New Puck breaks up with New Quinn after New Quinn insults Boring New Rachel's mom again. Absolutely no one cares. Including, apparently, the actors themselves. Commercial.

The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. Frankenteen sits quietly at a music stand, futzing with the score to Grease, presumably, now that he's clearly going to be assuming control of New Directions once Mr. Schue farts off to Washington, and he's quite surprised to see Idiot Rachel emerge from the wings. And I'm sorry, but this new look of hers? Trashy. Trashy and more than a little desperate, which makes it that much worse. I suppose you could argue that it sort of suits the try-anything-new direction her character's been heading over the last few episodes, but I'd only buy that argument if I believed this look of hers was in the process of evolving into something, well... Something less trashy and desperate, but I don't think that's what's going to happen. I think we're going to be stuck with Idiot Rachel, The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway, for a very, very long time.