The Break Up

Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 2 USERS: B-
The Breakup(s)

Oh, and look at that! Mere seconds later, Will arrives home to share a bit of good news with Emma: He just received official confirmation of his appointment to that blue-ribbon arts panel of his! Go figure. Emma, quite naturally, is elated. Well, until she learns that Will's assumed she'll be taking a sabbatical to tag along with him to Washington "for a few months," that is. For whatever dim reason, the subsequent discussion rapidly escalates into a full-on, knock-down, drag-out, hair-pulling screamfest between the two of them that ends with Emma flouncing out of the apartment in a mighty huff, leaving Will alone to pout in the semi-darkness of their living room.

Mode. St. Gay Of Lima broods in the tiny utility closet that's currently masquerading as his office, eyeing with immense amounts of suspicion the adorable little apology card Dreamboat Blaine sent him, until the Pasolini freak from last week's abortive brainstorming session stops by just long enough to make us all think he's going to be St. Gay's next boyfriend once our precious little lamb breaks things off with Dreamboat Blaine for good. And if this guy's taste in movies is anything to go by, St. Gay's certainly in for one hell of an eye-opening rebound, now isn't he?

After we've whisked our way through this evening's next commercial break, we return just as Brit-Brit enters the music room to find devastatingly fierce-looking Santana already there waiting for her. Santana opens the conversation by sweetly reminiscing about the times she used to sit there in the cheap seats, hoping Brittany would gift her with a smile, and then we shift gears to enter the only one of this episode's titular breakups that even came close to affecting me when this episode originally aired. With a backup assist from some anonymous McKinley High Jazz Ensemble boys I don't think we've ever seen before, Santana serenades Brittany with a chopped-up yet gut-punching version of Taylor Swift-Kennedy's "Mine," and after the song has left both ladies in tears, Santana confesses, "I haven't been a good girlfriend to you." "I can't come home on the weekends and pretend that things are the way they were," she continues, "because they aren't -- and I don't want to be like all of those other long-distance relationships that hang in there for a few months and then break up when someone eventually cheats, or things get weird." "I would never cheat on you," Brittany immediately vows. "And I would never cheat on you, either," Santana hastens to assure her, "but if we're being completely honest..." Uh oh. "I had," Santana struggles to explain, "an energy exchange?" Smear sideways to...

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