Glee
The End Of Twerk

Episode Report Card
Demian: N/A | 104 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
Twerk Like There's Nobody Watching

No, I'm not actually wondering what's happening to Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel right about now, but I had to get out of that goddamned tattoo parlor, and the next scene features her heavily, so there you go. So: Back at McKinley High, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel rounds a corner, only to find herself with a faceful of New Santana Lopez, and long story short, New Santana blabs about all the illicit lovin' she's been getting as of late from Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's supposed boyfriend. "Jake's not like that!" Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel weakly protests before foolishly adding, "And if he was, he would aim a lot higher than trash like you!" "Gasp!" New Santana gasps, working up a tremendous amount of false outrage as she continues like so: "That is slut-shaming! You are using the derogatory label 'trash' for a female's natural sensuality -- it's femiphobic, neo-retro-genderist, and a clear form of sexual bullying!" "And as this beautiful poster clearly states," New Santana notes, gesturing towards the handy poster in question on the adjacent wall, "this is a bully-free zone." "But," she magnanimously concludes, "I will be the better person and not report you to Principal Sylvester for immediate expulsion." There's more -- including a bit where New Santana makes lascivious note of a secret mole located somewhere close to New Puck's dangly bits -- but I'm already spending far more time on this tiresome subplot than its substance justifies, so let's skip ahead to the bit where...

...Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel confronts New Puck about his filthy, lying, whorish ways, after which...

...Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel performs this show's inevitable cover of "Wrecking Ball," and the less said about that piece of crap, the better, so let's immediately head back over to...

...the music room, and the only subplot of any real consequence this evening, okay? Excellent. Amid a buzzing flurry of high-speed activity, Unique hesitantly raises her hand and, after she's caught Mr. Schue's attention, she admits she needs to use "the magic bathroom." "Okay," Pretty Kitty eyerolls, already heading for the door, "if Oprah's gonna drop The Cosby Kids off at the pool, I am not going to be here." Mr. Schue somehow manages to stop Pretty Kitty with one hand while boldly asserting that Unique will not be using the magical Porta Potty anytime soon, and with that, he invites Unique out into the hall. Meanwhile, back in the music room, Single-T Tina angrily hisses, "There is nothing wrong with the Porta Potty!" and twists on the knob to step inside. "Again?" an audibly perplexed Artie wonders from somewhere off-screen. "She just used it, like, five minutes ago!" Hee.

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Glee

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