Finn approaches Puck in the football locker room to ask him a question. Puck, surprised: "I thought they were my sneakers." Oh, Puck. I thought you'd learned your lesson about using Finn's stuff without his permission. Anyway, Finn doesn't really catch that -- he's there to ask Puck for advice on condom selection. Puck: "Are you cheating on Rachel, dude? 'Cause if you are, that is not cool, and that's coming from me." Finn clarifies that the condoms are for Rachel. Puck: "I'm happy for you dude. You and her. Always thought it would be me, but secretly hoped it'd be you." But Puck can't recommend any condoms, because he's an absolute moron and still doesn't use them. Coach Beiste interrupts all the chatter to call the team together. She introduces them to Cooter, who is completely obviously checking out the Panther's thighs. She calls him "the best eye for talent in the country." Cooter: "Which is why I spend so much time with you, Coach." Even the dumbest guy on the team (which right now is a tie between Puck and Finn) catches the completely obvious sexual interest Cooter is directing at Coach Beiste right now. But Cooter's big play is to ask the Coach if she's wearing new tube socks. She's oblivious. Anyway, Cooter is there to raise Finn's hopes that he could ever be a good enough quarterback to play for a top-tier school.
Kurt approaches Blaine at his locker and, only half-seriously, invites him to tear down any of Rachel's campaign posters he sees. Blaine: "Do you think we're too sheltered as artists? I'm serious. West Side Story is all about living outside of your safe little world. Don't you want to wake up every day and be adventurous?" I thought Kurt's daily desire for adventure was what explained his wardrobe? Kurt does want adventure, which is why he's created a lengthy bucket list. It includes laying a rose at the birthplace of Noel Coward. And number five on his list is "have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Taylor Lautner before he gets fat." Kurt laughs that one off as being stupid, but Blaine thinks it's hot. I have to agree with Kurt on this one. A sexual electricity flashes back and forth between their eyes, Kurt offers that they have time to be adventurous because they're young, while Blaine counters that the time to be adventurous is while they're young.
Cooter strides down the hallway for no reason in particular. But it's fortunate for the story that he's there, because it gives Artie a chance to ambush him. Artie introduces himself and asks if he can see Cooter in his office. Cooter: "You don't mean the handicapped stall, do you?" Artie: "No. But that is hilarious." Cut to Artie and Cooter entering the stage. Cooter seems to have no concept of the idea of a theater as a place, other than perhaps a movie theater. Artie, straight to business (other people's business, that is), asks Cooter if he likes Coach Beiste, and not just as a coach. Cooter tells Artie that he's asked the Panther out about a million time and she always shoots him down. But Artie asks him to try one more time, but to be completely, incredibly, exceedingly direct about it. And Artie even has an idea for where they can go on their date.