And we'll be pretending this next scene never happened, okay? All you need to know is this: The Glee Guys (minus Kurt) finally bow to pressure from The Glee Gals (plus Kurt), decide to perform "What It Feels Like For A Girl" (with Kurt), and they take the song featured in this kickass video and turn it into some god-awful piece of flaccid boy-band crap. Next!

Dammit! There is one amusing bit buried in that trainwreck above: Artie realizes he might have pissed Single-T Tina off when he, in smearback, greets her casually in the hallway, and she goes nuclear on his differently abled ass like so: "My eyes? Are up here! I am a person with feelings -- get outta my grille! I am a powerful woman, and my growing feminism? Will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality!" The only thing that speech needed is Single-T Tina then screaming, "SHAME! SHAME!" in Artie's increasingly freaked-out face. So, long story short, singing a shitty version of a Madonna song led Artie to understand the error of his objectifying ways. He apologizes to her, and they kiss and make up. And now: Next!

Frankenteen lurches up to Rachel outside her locker to offer apologies of his own for...some minor infraction I totally didn't pay any attention to last week, because Rachel and Finn are OVAH and Jesse + Rachel = 2GETHA 4EVA!!!!!!!!1!!111!!! Well, until she finds out Jesse St. James is actually in his mid-twenties and is only pretending to be a high school senior who's madly in love with her in order to sabotage New Directions from within, as his actual mother Idina Menzel told him to do at some point in the recent and off-screen past (I'm guessing). Then Rachel's back to this tuneless oaf, I suppose. And speaking of Rachel's new and far-superior boyfriend, Jesse St. James arrives at this moment to challenge Finn to a sing-off in the parking lot at 5 PM. Rachel adorably squeaks, "No!" at the very thought of so ruthless a deathmatch between the two men she loves, but she needn't worry, for Finn's decided to become magnanimous until the beginning of the next episode, and he offers a hand in friendship to his new rival in Glee. Jesse St. James accepts said friendly hand in kind, and the boys skip off together down the hall to work on yet another Madonna arrangement, leaving Rachel in a quandary best expressed through song.