Music room. In her notebook, Quinn's finishing up a rather intricate caricature of Rachel as a lovesick, mustachioed, wart-faced hag. The camera pans up to Rachel's face, and we are surprised at how well Quinn's captured Rachel's essence. You know, minus the moustache and the warts. And the hagritude, I suppose. In any event, Rachel wallows, positively doe-eyed in her romantic agony for a moment before screwing up her courage and wondering aloud, "Can I ask you guys something private?" "Yes, you should move to Israel," Santana Lopez immediately replies, much to Quinn's sly-eyed delight. Rachel ignores the slam and positions herself front and center on a prop stool to continue, "It's about dating." "Not that I'm dating anyone!" she hastens to add, reminding the five Glee Gals present that she and Finn are no longer an item before LYING that she broke things off with the dreamy Jesse St. James "for the sake of the team." Mercedes, bless her, looks like she's not buying that last bit of crap, but she keeps her mouth shut for now. "Let's just say I was dating someone," Rachel posits, "and let's just say -- hypothetically -- we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night." Dim Brittany snickers at this, and Santana Lopez extravagantly rolls her eyes while I waste far too much time trying to find the gayest Wiggles video ever. (Hint: They all are.) Rachel, typically oblivious, starts babbling at this point, the words tumbling over each other as she explains, "And then because my dads weren't home, we went up to my room and started making out, and it was erotic and romantic, and then he said..."
Smear to Last Friday Night, post-wiggling but pre-wriggling, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. "We should do it," Jesse St. James pants, all overheated and excited and such and he lunges down to nuzzle at her neck with his hands roaming everywhere and I just want to make out with his hair. Erm. Forget I typed out that last bit. Ahem. ANY-way, Rachel's all, "'It'?" and Jesse's all, "Totally!" and Rachel goes, "Eeep!" and Jesse's like, "It's no big deal!" and Rachel quavers, "For a girl it is..."