Episode Report Card
Demian: A | 1 USERS: A+
It's Madge's World. We Just Lip-Synch To It.

Smear to Rachel Trying That, and as Emma is fluttery and useless, and as Rachel is sporting this absolutely dismal prairie blouse patterned with tiny purple Zias, let's...

...smear back to the music room, where Quinn schools Mr. Schue like so: "The fact is, women still earn seventy cents to every dollar that a man does for doing the same job. That attitude starts in high school." Several points to Miss Fabray. Mr. Schue's elaborately shellacked coif droops a bit at Quinn's cynicism, so Will wanders on over to...

...Emma's office, where Emma replenishes her stock of sight gags ("Wiping: Easy As 1-2-3," "I Still Breastfeed... But How Old Is Too Old?" and "Help! I'm In Love With My Stepdad!") while bemoaning the fact that she can't do her job if she lacks the kids' confidence. Will understands that issues surrounding sexual dynamics constitute Emma's "blind spot" as a guidance counselor, and he just wants to help her so she'll be prepared the next time a female student drops by with questions similar to Rachel's. Emma, of course, immediately thinks he's offering to Do It with her, and there's much supposedly comical stuttering and stammering to the contrary until Will clarifies, "What this is really about is teenaged girls feeling like they have no power." Emma immediately agrees with him and adds that it makes sense because today's junior misses have such lousy role models. "You've got Britney Spears and her shaved head," Emma shrugs, "Lindsay Lohan looks like something out of Lord Of The Rings, Ann Coulter..." HA! Will's facial expression reads, "You had me, then you really had me, and then you just completely frigging lost me with that last one." Or maybe I'm projecting a bit, because seriously: What kind of nitwit thinks teenage girls hold Mann Coulter up as a role model? Oh, right: The Emma Nitwit. Never mind. Moving on: Will just wants to work with Emma to instill a sense of self-confidence in The Lovely Ladies Of McKinley High. Emma's tickled by the idea of being part of a "girl-saving team," and readily agrees with the plan.

Later, while strolling through the hallways, Will happens to pass the gymnasium just as the opening guitar lines from "Ray Of Light" spill out into the corridor. Intrigued, he pauses to look inside, and let the Madonnathon begin! I should point out that I love this song -- this entire album's one of my favorites, in fact -- but that's not important because the cheerleading routine they've choreographed for this sequence is absolutely mind-boggling. Not the opening bit, which features little more than a gaggle of Cheerios bouncing around with their pom-poms, but the part after that, when ten men and women on five-foot-high stilts -- stilts -- prance in from the sidelines to perform this complicated series of spins and lifts and arabesques and high kicks, and at one point one of the guys has one of the girls by the foot of her stilts, and he's swinging her around upside-down in a circle in the center of the gym floor -- by her stilts -- and they're hauling the more earthbound Cheerios up into the air, and it's so mesmerizing and so hallucinatory and so bizarre that... wow. Just: Wow. Of course, Sue Sylvester disagrees with me. "Sloppy freakshow babies! Somewhere in the English countryside in a stately manor home, Madonna is weeping! Hit the showers!" As the dejected Cheerios limp and stagger from the floor, Sue sniffs suspiciously at the air, turns to note Will's presence, and greets him with, "Oh, hey, William -- I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves who live in your hair." Will ignores that to compliment her on the awesomeness that just transpired. "Yeah, well, Madonna's a legend," Sue replies, "and I want my girls to learn all the lessons she has to offer." Here they cut to a brief shot of the stilted Cheerios chilling out around a gigantic bench constructed for their rest periods, and it's just ridiculous. One guy -- with no visible means of support, mind you -- has hunkered down into a relaxing squat while still atop the damn things, and three of the women are quite seriously warming down with these mile-high barre exercises. My thighs are screaming in sympathetic pain. Anyway, Sue continues, "There's nobody quite like the Material Girl to empower my Cheerios, just like your hairdresser has empowered you to look absolutely ridiculous." Will again ignores the slam because he's suddenly got An Idea, and he bids her a fond farewell. Sue watches him go for the briefest of moments, then turns to the mopey stilts on the gigantic bench and bellows through her megaphone, "You think this is hard? I'm passing a gallstone as we speak! That's hard!" Funny how much I've missed her during the hiatus. Can we just give her this year's Supporting Actress Emmy now?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP