"Shalom, blogosphere!" Uh, shalom to you, Jewfro. Because that's who is speaking to us as he makes his traditional back to school video report. Apparently, the McKinley blogoverse is obsessed with the plans people are making for their post-McKinley futures. So, kind of like the regular blogosphere. Jewfro asks Finn, the "mediocre quarterback [and] mediocre glee club lead," about his plans, and Finn not-so-confidently insists that he's totally got plans. But you wouldn't know them, because they live in Canada. Cut to Mike Chang, whose mother can't decide between Stanford and Harvard for him. Jewfro asks Tina what schools she's applying to, and she reminds him that she's a junior. I mean, come on Jewfro! Everybody knows that. And Artie is also a junior. Because Ryan Murphy says so, that's why! Jewfro finds Kurt and Rachel warming up in the music room. They are super happy, which means they are super annoying. They've got their future Juilliard-attending, Manhattan-living, Tony-winning futures completely planned out. I do love how Kurt can't stop making love to the camera with his eyes during this entire interview. That boy was born to be a reality-show famewhore.
Jewfro moves on to Mercedes, asking her about the Twitter gossip that she's been dating Sam, "a.k.a., Hobo McBieber." Mercedes was dating Sam, but his father got a new job and they moved away. (Which is code for "Ryan Murphy has the attention span of a coked-out chihuahua and couldn't think of anything to do with Chord Overstreet.") But now Mercedes is dating some mountain of a football player, who plans to make cocoa babies with her after she wins her first Grammy. Jewfro finds Santana in the cafeteria. She tells him, "Senior year is all about being the Cheerios' top 'ho, and modeling my fierceness after my numero uno Latina, Paula Abdul." Jewfro knows, as do we, that Paula Abdul is half-Syrian, not Latina, but I think that being confused about the ethnic origin of your role model is kind of a good way of following in Paula Abdul's footsteps. Santana is joined by Brit-Brit. Jewfro asks her what her plans are for the future. Brit-Brit stops and whispers, "Wait, are you working on a time machine too?"
We cut back to the end of Finn's interview. He tells Jewfro that he's very excited about the year. But as he walks away, Finn's voice-over tells us that he actually has no idea what he's doing with his life and can't even remember who he is anymore. And then some jocks remind him who he is with some synchronized slushy-ing. Mullet-haired jock: "Taste the rainbow, glee-yotch!" Finn: "Now I remember." Title card.