Cut to an alarm clock. Will and his excessively clipped chest hair turn it off and then he rolls over and says, "Rise and shine, sleepyhead. Guess who woke up right before I did?" I really do not need to be thinking about Will's morning wood. He's talking to Emma, who is in bed with him. She runs off to brush her teeth, leaving Will and his morning wood alone and unsatisfied. Hey, Emma, do you have any brain bleach in that bathroom? Because I'd really like to scrub the beginning of this scene out of my brain. We see the rest of their cute but excessively boring morning routine, which includes packing each other's lunches.
Music room. New Directions' tiny twelfth-place trophy from Nationals sits on the floor between the giant trophies they received for winning Sectionals and Regionals. Will's trying to make a point that losing sucks, and he plans to push the kids harder than they've ever been pushed. (A line to which Santana has a very skeeved out reaction.) He also apologizes, claiming that he let Broadway dreams cause him to lose his focus last year. We also learn that the guy who replaced him in April's musical won the Tony. The first problem is that the club is down to nine members. Not only did Sam move away, but Lauren Tuna decided her coolness was incompatible with glee club, and nobody's seen Quinn all summer. But Will has an idea, which I'm certain is just as clever and ingenious as all of his ideas. He has some kids wheel three purple pianos into the room, announcing that they are repossessed pianos donated by Al Motta of Motta's Pianos. Will repaired them and painted them purple, and will randomly place them around the school. His assignment to the kids is to start singing whenever they find a piano and keep an eye out for the kids who just can't help but sing alone. See, this is exactly as clever and ingenious as all of Will's previous ideas.
Emma's office. Rachel and Kurt are there, clutching each other's hand and preparing to make an important announcement. Emma's way ahead of them, and hands them each a pamphlet entitled "Me and My Hag." But the announcement is not that Kurt and Rachel have started a sexless, miserable, co-dependent relationship. It's that they're both planning on auditioning to attend Juilliard. Emma reminds them that Juilliard doesn't have a musical theater program (or even a musical theatre program). For someone so obsessed with planning out her musical theater future, Rachel is profoundly bad at this. After suggesting Kent State (both for its musical theater program and macabre backstory) and having that suggesting flung back in her face, Emma hands them brochures from NYADA, the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts. Unfortunately, the school only accepts around 20 students a year. Fortunately, they're having a mixer for prospective students that very week at a nearby DoubleTree Inn.