Glee

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We'll Always Have Branson

Meanwhile, now that Rachel's back in Glee Club, Frankenteen's dropping off a scholarship application much to the adorably attired Emma's delight, and he lurches off down the hallway with a goofy grin on his face until a furious Rachel calls out his name, hastily erects a small platform in the middle of the hallway so she can reach his head with her hand, shimmies herself all the way up to the top of the thing, and smacks the living crap out of him. "LIAR!" she seethes. "Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?" "I haven't been totally honest with you," Finn protests, "but that's different than lying!" Seems reasonable to me. Anyway, they yell and splutter and bumble at each other for a while, but all you really need to know is that Rachel quits the Glee Club, again, some more, and flounces off down the hallway, where she runs into...Sue Sylvester! Hi, Sue! Damn, I knew this episode was missing something. In any event, Rachel storms her furious little self up to Sue and blares, "We have to talk! If you'd like me to return to the musical, changes need to be made." "I couldn't agree with you more," Sue nods. "You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious." HA! "I hereby grant you complete artistic control," she tells Rachel with a smile. "Congratulations, kiddo! You now have everything you could possibly want -- isn't it a great feeling?" Rachel grins back at Sue, but the instant Miss Sylvester's gone, Rachel's grin collapses, and she stands alone in the hallway, looking a bit shell shocked.

Saturday evening. Tinkles leads the Glee Club minus Orange April through a vocal warm-up until Mr. Schuester arrives with news of a sold-out auditorium. The kids (and Tinkles, for that matter) are somewhat gaudily attired in Western gear, but nothing comes close to the garishness of just-arriving Orange April's hot pink and gold cowgirl costume. She's obviously sauced, and mauls my more than willing glorious husband before honking Kurt's nose until Will pulls her aside to bitch, "You promised me you'd sober up for this!" "When? Last night?" Orange April mumbles. "I was drunk! You can't hold me to that!" And again: Seems reasonable to me. She playfully straightens Will's tie, stumbles against the grand piano, and launches into a vocal warm-up of her own just as Emma arrives, and my God, but I want to marry this woman's clothes. Barely glancing in Orange April's direction, Emma drags Will out into the hallway to inform him that Orange April nearly ran her over in the parking lot. "You can't let her go on in her condition." "If she doesn't go on," Will counters, "none of the kids can." Emma lays yet another guilt trip on his unreasonably curly head, but neither Will nor we have time for that at the moment because...

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Glee

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