Callbacks. This time, all of New Directions is in the audience. Mercedes tells the four candidates for Sandy and Danny that they've selected a song for them that's from the show and will give them a chance to demonstrate their '50s dance moves. The judges also want to see them in different combinations, to get a sense of the chemistry they have with each other. Even though they were given the music in advance, Ryder's nervous, because he doesn't really read music. So Mercedes and Mike tell the kids to just follow their lead and she starts singing "Hand Jive." This is a song about hand jobs, isn't it? I really suspect it is. Anyway, Mercedes sings and Mike dances and then the four candidates join in. Marley and Jake have some serious heat, which makes Kitty and Ryder both jealous. At the end of the song, a bunch of other potential cast members join them in the dance. Commercials.
Library. Finn finds Unique (in boy drag) and tells her that he needs to talk to her about the show. Unique thinks this is just prelude to the "you were great, but it was too controversial to cast you" discussion she's been fearing. But Finn, as we know, is there to offer Unique the role. Unique gets a little verklempt, and Finn asks what's wrong. Unique: "I don't feel right in the men's locker room, but I can't go into the girl's. And I don't feel right in men's clothing, but I can't wear dresses every day. It sucks to never know your place. It's just nice for once to feel like I've found one." And Finn seems happy to have finally found his place as well. That was a gorgeously acted scene -- Alex has really improved since his first appearances last season.
Time to post the cast list. We end up with a Brady Bunch style grid (but larger) with all of the casting decisions. Brit-Brit is Cha-Cha; Tina is Jan (even though she never auditioned); Sam is Kenickie; Sugar Motta is Frenchy; No Longer New Guy With Gross Hair Whose Name Demian Can't Be Bothered To Look Up is Doody; Unique is Rizzo; Blaine is Teen Angel; Jake is Putzie; Ryder is Danny; Marley is Sandy; and Kitty is Patty Simcox. In the words of Kitty, "Who the hell is Patty Simcox?" Kitty blames her failure to land the role she wanted on God, and then Jake, and then she lashes out at Marley and her mother. And then she storms off when Sue arrives and reminds her that it's time to feed Sue's baby. And then Sue looks at the cast list, sees that Unique has been cast as Rizzo and gives Finn a blood curdling glare as we cut to commercial.