The Role You Were Born To Play

Episode Report Card
LTG: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
Cheese Is The Word

Instead of locker-lurking, Finn goes out onto the football field during practice to ask Coach Beiste if she thinks there are any guys on the team who might have the skill to be in the musical. Unless the coach has integrated musical warm-ups into team drills, I'm not sure why he thinks she would have any idea if any of the players can sing or dance. The coach also gives him more BS about how special he is. Finn notices one kid who catches a pass and does an elaborate breakdancing victory celebration and he asks the coach about him. His name is Ryder and he's a sophomore who transferred from another school after essentially flunking out, and based on his extended touchdown dance, he's got a serious and untreated case of ADHD. Also, he's the winner of the most recent season of The Glee Project. So I suspect we'll be seeing more of him. Commercials.

The Novak. Marley, applying makeup, is a little distressed to find Not-So-Unique, in boy drag, exiting a stall, but gets over it fast enough. Marley is, naturally, trying out for the role of Sandy. Unique isn't going to audition, because she's certain the directors will never give her the role she wants, which is Rizzo. Marley, peppy as ever, tells Unique to just audition and tell the directors what role she wants. And that's when Sue flushes the toilet and leaves a stall. She's full of insults and nicknames. For Unique, she comes up with "Tina Stomach Turner," which is only okay and "Urethra Franklin," which I find hysterical even though it makes absolutely no sense, as a urethra is something possessed by both men and women. Sue still can't come up with a nickname for Marley, eventually settling on "absolutely stunning, kind-faced, blue-eyed girl." Sue, she's wearing a newsboy cap -- surely that gives you something to work with? Sue doesn't thinks Unique should be allowed to play a female character and she makes it her cruel mission to ensure that never happens. But her bullying just makes Marley and Unique more determined to audition.

And they audition together, singing Pink's "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)." It starts out in the hallway (as per usual), but then they go to the stage. They both rocked up their looks, which means Marley doesn't look like such a gormless ingénue and Unique doesn't look like Loretta Devine. It's a good look for both of them and a good performance. Also, Marley should always part her hair on the side like that and burn all her newsboy caps. The judges (which now include Mercedes and Mike along with Artie and Finn) loved the performance and Artie asks them what roles they want. As we know, they're going for Sandy and Rizzo.

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