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The Replacements

Cut to the Spanish classroom, where Mike Chang is throwing wads of paper at Finn. An oddly patrician voice-over tells us, "It's not easy being a substitute teacher. Kids feel like they get the day off. They'll goof off, egg your car, cut class, break into your car, throw spit-balls, put an alligator in your car... and I don't even have a nice car." And then the camera shows us that the oddly patrician voice belongs to Ms. Gwyneth Paltrow. [I liked Gwyneth back when she was unapproachable. Everyone hated on her but she didn't give a shit because she was on every magazine cover, dating men like Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, wearing amazing clothes and making lots of movies. - Gustave] I kind of feel the opposite of Gustave. I mean, what's the point of hating Gwyneth nowadays? Until this episode, she was kind of off my Hollywood radar. Has she done anything of any note any time in the last few years?

And then Gwyneth, who is playing Holly Holliday, speaks to the kids in Spanish, asking them if they agree that Lindsay Lohan is kind of crazy. Does she not realize that this class is normally taught by Will Schuester? These kids don't actually learn any Spanish from him. [Ouch. Lindsay Lohan has been going "loca" since 2004. This reminds me of a teacher I had in high school who would make Michael Jackson jokes. It was 1985, Thriller had come out last year and those red leather jackets were being marked down in bargain bins all over the country. "Hey maybe you'd be paying more attention to me if I MOONWALKED!" he said, expecting a big laugh. - Gustave] Holly Holliday's voice-over continues, telling us that she tries to avoid car vandalism by relating to the kids, speaking to them on their level, and being "fun." Holly's Spanish isn't great, but I can't really mock it, because every substitute I ever had in my high school French classes was reduced to making us do a worksheet, since not one of them spoke a single word of the language. So by substitute standards, she's pretty good. And then Kurt interrupts the class to speak with Holly. I'm guessing people interrupt Will's classes all the time, since I don't think anyone really views him as a "teacher," so Kurt probably thinks this is perfectly normal. Kurt asks Holly if she had considered taking over Glee Club, since she's already taken over Spanish class. "What makes you think I know the first thing about Glee Club?" Kurt reminds Holly that she subbed for his English class the previous week, so he's seen her in action.

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