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The Replacements

Back in Will's apartment, Rachel tells him that he'd better get well and get back to school before Holly usurps his place and he becomes the substitute. With defeat in his eyes, Will looks at his cordless phone and sighs. He's probably just sighing about how rude it was of Rachel to come over without calling first.

Back in the cafeteria, Mercedes is reminding Kurt that they have to get to the bowling alley early on Friday because "it's league night for little people, and they'll buy up all the small shoes if they get there first." Oh, but Kurt is blowing her off again, because Blaine has scored tickets to see Greg Evigan in Rent at the Community Playhouse. I bet that was a hard ticket to get. Mercedes is wondering if these tickets include her, but of course they do not. And then Santana and Brit-Brit appear behind the lunch counter, where they confiscate the tater tots. Mercedes is stunned, and becomes angry when Santana tells her that Sue banned the tots. Brit: "They look like deep-fried deer poop." Santana tells Mercedes to take it up with Sue.

So Mercedes does, marching into Sue's office to ask why she took away the tots. Becky trails after her, berating her for daring to enter Sue's inner sanctum without an appointment. Sue waves Becky off, and tells Mercedes, "Jackée, I am like my idol, Richard Milhous Nixon. Regarded in his time as petty, corrupt, and venal, he actually always had the best interests of his people in mind. And also like Richard Nixon, I'm obliged to inform you that this conversation is being recorded." Mercedes demands her tots, and Sue tells her that nutrition at McKinley is horrible. Sue holds up a stalk of broccoli and asks Mercedes if she recognizes it. Mercedes: "Toilet brush." Sue: "When I showed this to Brittany earlier, she began to whimper, thinking I had cut down a small tree where a family of gummi bears lived." Sue is declaring war on junk food, and she's starting with the Tot Offensive. Commercials.

Hallway. Rachel is at her locker when Ms. Holliday greets her. Rachel complains about the bruise she suffered as a result of Holly's "game of gangster rap musical chairs," and that she intends to file an official report. Holly: "Rachel, you suck. Oh my God, you're like a total drag. Has anyone ever told you that?" All you forum posters can put your hands down. Puck walks by and notes that he has. And Holly hands him the answers to the pop quiz she's going to give in Spanish class that day. Hmmm, I wonder what he did to earn such favor? Holly asks Rachel, "When was the last time you did something just because you thought it would be a blast?" [Right, because all these kids do is dig ditches all day long. - Gustave] Holly asks how often Rachel does the things she wants to do in Glee Club. Every episode? Oh, no, the answer this episode is that she doesn't get to do what she wants because Will is "tight-fisted with song selection." Rachel tells Holly that she wants to do something "a little more upbeat and glamorous, with a good dance beat." Holly asks if Rachel has ever requested such a song.

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