Glee

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Glee's Super! Thanks For Asking!

And because absolutely nothing of interest happens to any of the primary cast during the rest of the game, let's cut to the chase, shall we? The Titans come from behind to win at the very last second, 27 to 24. The end.

"So, tell me, Sue," Katie Couric asks, "how are you holding up?" That's right, ladies and gentlemen -- America's premier telejournalist has joined the cast of Glee for one special evening to ask the question that is now supposedly on everyone's lips: Why is Sue Sylvester such a loser? You see, after the mass defection of her top three performers, Sue's Cheerios flamed out at Regionals, denying her that seventh consecutive national championship and earning her the title of "Loser Of The Year," an honor for which Sue beat out the following: "The economy, Mel Gibson, the housing market, Dina Lohan, Wall Street, Tiger Woods, The Dallas Cowboys, Brett Favre's cell phone, 9% unemployment, and Sparky Lohan, who is Dina Lohan's dog and, apparently, also a loser." "How do you cope with that?" Katie Couric inquires, her tone flooded with all the usual amounts of sincerity we've come to expect from the nation's most trusted nightly anchorwoman. "I've been drinking a lot of bleach," Sue replies. Katie Couric follows up with a question regarding the wisdom of shooting teenagers out of cannons -- personally, I'm all for it -- before wondering how Sue feels now that the remainder of her annual Cheerios budget has been transferred to the glee club. To back up this last, shocking statement of supposed fact, Katie Couric switches on the flat-screen behind her, and we watch as she interviews Will regarding the matter. "I have to say, I'm thrilled," Will admits, adopting a studiously low-key and thoughtful demeanor. "Sue got what was coming to her," he sadly determines, "though now, we don't have to hold a bake sale to pay for the bus to Regionals." And then the studiously low-key and thoughtful demeanor goes flying out the window as he turns to offer the camera a broad, smug smile. Katie Couric returns her attention to Sue and sweetly prompts, "Thoughts?" Sue takes a moment, then rather magnificently seethes, "I hate you, Diane Sawyer!"

Hall. Finn approaches Karofsky and BORED. Long story short, now that the championship has been won, Karofsky's reverted to his self-loathing ways, and he wants absolutely nothing to do with the glee club or any of its members. He stomps off, leaving Finn rather unexpectedly alone with Quinn, who's rather fetchingly attired in a cute little non-uniform dress-and-sweater combo now that she's off the squad. The two banter, and then they kiss, and then it's over! HOORAY!

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Glee

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