Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
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Glee's Super! Thanks For Asking!

"But," Quinn protests, "this is the most elaborate routine the Cheerios have ever done -- we're shoo-ins at Regionals next week, and we're the favorite to win at Nationals!" "And yet," Sue counters, once again raising her trusty megaphone to her lips, "I am SO VERY BORED." "Even things I used to think were hilarious!" Sue grieves. "Case in point," she continues, lasering her focus in on Santana. "Sandbags! Slap yourself with a chicken cutlet." Santana heaves a put-upon sigh, but obediently whaps herself in the face with one of the falsies. Hee. "Now slap Brittany," Sue orders. Brit-Brit stoically takes a cutlet to the nose. "See?" Sue shrugs. "Not even a chuckle." "The problem is, you keep trying to make a bigger and bigger spectacle," Quinn brazenly interrupts, expertly managing to smack the audience in its collective schnozz with a bit of metacommentary regarding this series' direction over the last year and a half at the same time. "No matter how hard we try," Quinn complains whilst continuing with the metacommentary, "we can't make a routine work unless you find a way to make it interesting for you!" Because it's all about Ryan Murphy, apparently. "You have to find a way to top yourself," Quinn concludes, and her argument seems to have struck a chord with Sue. "You just may have a point," Sue concedes, "but to be sure, slap yourself with a chicken cutlet." Title card.

The camera snaps up on the cheering crowds thronging McKinley High's football stadium in Ohio in February before sweeping past a few pertinent series regulars on the sidelines to settle on Titans quarterback Finn out on the field. There are five seconds left on the clock in the fourth quarter, with McKinley leading the opposition, 17 to 14, and Frankenteen turns to his huddled teammates to express his admiration for them while excitedly expositing, "We didn't even have to win this game to go to Championships next week, but nobody took it off, and when we take a knee, we're gonna finish first in conference for the first time in McKinley history!" I'M BORED. Puck, however, is not, and he enthuses, "Football is back, bitches!" as various other members of the team go "Woo!" Designated second-season villain Dave Karofsky, however, is not nearly as stoked, and he sardonically snorts, "Maybe we should all break out into a song after we win." I am SO VERY BORED. Unfortunately, this football-and-Karofsky crap represents a major portion of tonight's A story, so I have little choice but to deal with it. Fortunately, I can keep it brief: Long story short, the tiresome closet case remains extremely antagonistic towards the male Glee Clubbers -- especially Finn, for whatever reason -- and he again threatens to leave Finn exposed to the other side's tackles (or whatever the hell you call them), so when the time arrives for the final play of the game, Finn chokes, missing the snap completely. The ball bounces in the dirt for a second before it's snatched up by one of the Titans' opponents, who then runs it in for a touchdown, and it's a very good thing the Titans needn't have won this game to advance into the finals, because they just totally biffed it by three points. Coach Beiste angrily overturns the Gatorade table as the stadium's crowd lets its collective face fall, and shortly after Karofsky makes some sneering remark I'll not be bothering to transcribe, the shot cuts over to...

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Glee

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