Meanwhile, over in one of McKinley's halls, Artie's found himself cornered by eight of his slushie-laden teammates, all of whom are being led, of course, by Karofsky and Azimio. SO VERY BORED. The jocks dump their slushies out on Artie's head, and with that, we're off to...
...the teacher's lounge, where Coach Beiste and Will chat about the ongoing glee-related strife over lunch. Coach Beiste, by the way, seems to be enjoying an entire roast chicken this afternoon, washing it all down with a full quart of orange juice. Just so you know. Anyway, she lectures him at length regarding the supposed benefits a championship-winning high school football team brings to its community, and frets that the rift opening between her glee and non-glee players will deprive Lima of same. Will has A Brilliant Idea. Will always has A Brilliant Idea.
Music Room. Artie wheels in, soaked to the skin, and everyone reacts as if this is the very first time anyone's ever gotten a frozen drink flung in his face on this show. Finn vows revenge, and he takes off towards the door with Puck, Lady Lips, and Gaylord Weiner fully intending to back him up, so it's quite a surprise for the boys when Karofsky and his crew lumber in from the hall. Coach Beiste, you see, had ordered the non-glee football players to meet her in the music room, because Will's Brilliant Idea is this: If the überjocks spend the next seven days singing with New Directions, they'll finally understand how cool glee club really is, and Karofsky will stop hassling Finn, thereby allowing the Titans to emerge triumphant from next week's championship game. Yes, it's a completely dunderheaded plan, but none of us should be expecting anything better from Mr. Schue at this point in the series' run, so let's all just go with it, okay? Naturally, the children immediately howl their disapproval, but alas, only Azimio ends up with a funny line about it. "If I have to stay," he loudly warns, "I ain't singin' no showtunes -- that is the music of my oppressors!"
In an attempt to prove to Azimio and the other louts that showtunes are but one small part of New Directions' repertoire -- and an increasingly vanishing part at that, much to yours truly's immense annoyance -- Mr. Schue suggests Rachel and Puck perform the ballad they've been working on, and after Rachel allows herself one last massive snit fit over Karofsky's sullying presence in the music room, she and Puck take the floor to offer us their rendition of Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now." So, you know, if you need to run to the bathroom or anything like that, now would be the time to do it.