Finn's mother (Carol, if you forgot) leads Finn down the stairs into Kurt's basement bedroom. Finn's eyes are closed, and he asks if there's a car waiting for him at the bottom of the steps. Carol, with a touch of concern in her voice, reminds him that they're indoors. Finn opens his eyes to find Kurt, Burt, and a "Welcome Home" banner staring him in the face. It's a surprise party to tell him that he and his mother are moving in with Kurt and Burt. Has Carol hired Terri as her personal life coach? Because this is the kind of cracked-out idea that I would expect to spring from the mind of our favorite psychopath. Burt points out the advantage of living in the same house as the 55-inch television, and Carol notes that the house is twice as big as theirs, with two-and-a-half bathrooms. (But apparently only two bedrooms.) Finn doesn't care -- he thinks this is a crappy idea. But Burt and Carol are determined to live together in bliss. Finn is especially upset that he'll be sharing a room with Kurt. Burt tells him that he'll knock out a wall upstairs and build an addition so Finn can have his own room, but in the meantime he hands Finn $300 for redecorating purposes. Kurt grabs the money out of Finn's hands. "I am going to put together a palette that expresses who you are and who I want you to be. Who you want to be." No, this isn't creepy or awkward at all.
Glee Club. The other kids can't stop staring at Tina, who's wearing a plain grey sweatshirt. She complains about feeling like "an Asian Branch Davidian." Will wonders if Tina would consider some other look. The kids immediately throw out suggestions: biker chick, cowgirl, hood rat, computer programmer and Catholic schoolgirl. And, from Brit-Brit, the following ideas: cross-country skier, Happy Meal (no onions), "or a chicken." I hope when she dies she donates her brain to science. Because someone needs to figure out exactly what neural corkscrew shifted her to food and/or barnyard animals. Tina appreciates the ideas, but can't stand being denied the ability to express who she really is. And then Rachel bursts into the room -- she's been spying on Vocal Adrenaline (with a blasé insouciance as to whether that is or is not against the rules), and discovered eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights in the dumpster behind Carmel High. And then she went to a fabric store and found out that they were sold out of red Chantilly lace. As she describes her findings, Tina, Mercedes and (of course) Kurt are the only ones who seem to appreciate the magnitude of the looming disaster. Because they all instantly realize that Christmas lights + red Chantilly lace = Lady Gaga. Puck: "What's up with this Gaga dude? He just dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?" Kurt, who has crossed the line from hysterical to some kind of spastic freakout seldom seen outside of a mental hospital (in other words, a normal day for Rachel), disabuses Puck of the notion that Lady Gaga is anything less than a woman and a full-on music and fashion genius. "And she changes her look faster than Brit changes sexual partners." Our little Brit-Brit can only admit the truthiness of what Kurt has said. Also, for those keeping score, Kurt has thrown out the word "theatrical" twice so far. The kids are all despondent, but Will thinks they can use this dilemma to solve two problems -- help Tina find a new look, and find a competitive number for Regionals. "This week, your assignment -- Gaga!" The girls and Kurt seem thrilled by the idea. Finn, not so much.