Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
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O Fortuna!

Smear back to the summit, where Principal Figgins affixes his gimlet eye on Miss Sue Sylvester to stress, "And no pitting the kids against one another!" "Never!" Sue agrees.

Smear ahead briefly in time to Sue blatantly violating Figgins's pit ban as she cocks a devious eyebrow into the camera and spits, "I want to pit these kids against one another -- am I clear?" The camera spins around to take in Britney, Quinn, and Santana Lopez prettily perched on folding chairs across from Sue in the latter's office, nodding their heads in unison like the toadying little princesses they are. "Quinn!" Sue barks. "Update! Go!" Quinn eagerly leans forward to gossip, "The minority students? Don't feel like they're being heard!" We get an inscrutable reaction shot of Santana Lopez for a moment before heading on back over to Sue, who croons, "Oooh! Chink in the armor, hmmm?" before vowing to create "an environment that is so toxic" that no one -- not even the neurotically driven Rachel Berry -- will want to stay. "Like the time I sold my house to a nice young couple," Sue reminisces fondly, "and I salted the earth in the backyard so that nothing living could grow there for a hundred years!" Wanna know why she did that? "Because they tried to get me to pay their closing costs." I want to be Sue Sylvester when I grow up.

Smear back to the summit, where Principal Figgins asks for their specific plans for Sectionals. It's all very cheerily collaborative, with Sue and Will directing one each of the two required numbers, with the program order to be decided by a flip of the coin. "Very civilized," Sue assures Figgins. "Very sportsmanlike." Figgins takes a moment, then visibly relaxes as he grins, "This arrangement is pleasing to all!" Sue and Will wholeheartedly agree, and grin and chuckle along with him until he orders them to "hug it out." Their false smiles faltering a bit but not cracking completely, Sue and Will jovially protest, but Figgins will not be swayed: "This meeting doesn't end until I see your bodies touching!" He learned it last week at a leadership seminar, you see, so Sue and Will reluctantly rise to their feet and gingerly embrace. "I will destroy you!" Will murmurs into Sue's ear. "I am about to vomit down your back," Sue replies. HA! "It's on!" Will vows, and the two disappear behind the title card.

Quinn -- in her cheerleading uniform, naturally -- lies on an examination table in Dr. Amy Hill's House Of Obstetrics, nervously awaiting her first sonogram with gallant Finn at her side, holding her hand. While passing that sonogram wand thingy across Quinn's abdomen, Dr. Hill wonders if, given their ages, the two have made plans for what to do after the baby's born. Finn smiles and dorkily insists they'll do whatever Quinn decides is best, and Dr. Hill announces they're expecting a girl.

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Glee

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