Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
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O Fortuna!

Meanwhile, out in the waiting room, Will scans an old copy of Parenting magazine until a nearby canoodling couple catches his eye. The male of the pair presses his ear against his partner's distended belly -- the better for the alien growing inside her body to kick him in the head, I suppose -- and Will smiles wistfully until Frankenteen lurches out of the examination room for a chat. "Baby's fine," Finn reports. "No mutations or anything -- not even any cool ones." Finn again thanks Mr. Schue for driving them to their appointment, and from there, the two gentlemen babble about paternal responsibility and other such crap I care nothing about until Quinn emerges into the waiting room to leave. Will looks thoughtful. Or, you know, furrowed, which I guess is the same thing.

Over at McKinley High, Rachel slams shut her locker door to find J-Fro lasciviously lurking on the other side. "The independent polling company in my Dockers has determined you're the hottest girl in this school," he opens, and oh, my GOD, that's disgusting. And funny. Mostly disgusting, though. Rachel once again shares my opinion and takes off down the hall, but J-Fro will not be deterred, chasing after her while wondering aloud if she's read his blog. Of course she hasn't, for he's nothing more than a tawdry gossipmonger whose filthy Internet site is filled with little more than trash and lies, most of them about her. J-Fro stops her cold, though, when he reveals his next big story involves not her, but the bun Quinn's got in the oven. Rachel's apparently shocked that the story's spread beyond the confines of the music room, but thinks fast and, hoping to preserve Quinn's reputation for whatever reason, denies it all. She attempts to flounce off, but J-Fro calls out that his source also told him Rachel's "heartbroken Finn Hudson didn't choose [her] to carry his litter." She freezes, sighs, and spins around to demand, "What is it gonna take for you to not run the story?"

"Lady's choice!" Sue Sylvester seems to answer for J-Fro, and ha! Of course, Sue's actually referring to the Sectionals program coin toss and calls heads before flipping the thing into the air as we...

...smear back in time to Sue, in sunglasses, stalking the halls of McKinley High with her Blackberry against her ear. "Trickster's Trick Store?" she asks. "You got any of those double-headed coins?"

Will catches the toss, and so Sue goes first. "The following students," she announces, sliding a prepared roster from her clipboard, "have been selected for a special elite Glee Club called 'Sue's Kids'!" Will immediately protests that dividing up the club is against Sectionals rules. Not so, Sue claims, flipping him a bookmarked copy of the Show Choir Rule Book, in which the second addendum of Provision 14 states, "Twelve members must perform for each team. However, not all members must perform every song." Temporarily defeated, Will throws his hands into the air all, "Fine! Go ahead and take all the football players and your Cheerios!" Au contraire, Mein Herr -- Sue's actually selected the following: "Santana! Wheels! Gay kid! Asian! Other Asian! Aretha! And Shaft!" HA! "See, Will?" Sue grandstands once the club members in question have shuffled over to her side of the music room. "I don't want to participate in any group that ignores the needs of minority students." "You have got to be kidding me!" Will splutters. "I wouldn't kid about this," Sue magnificently condescends before adding, "Maybe that's your problem -- bigotry is no laughing matter." "And that's how Sue sees it!" Santana Lopez brightly chimes in, parroting Sue's television catchphrase with the appropriate hand gesture. "Out-standing!" Sue smiles in Santana Lopez's direction. Will, flummoxed, shakes his curly head around in disbelief until we...

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Glee

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