Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | Grade It Now!
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O Fortuna!

...cut to that evening, where the screen splits as Terri -- enjoying some Chinese takeout with Will at home -- chats on the phone with her fabulously psychotic sister, Kendra, who's carefully balancing a large and half-empty wineglass in one hand while her redheaded demon spawn shriek and jump around on the bed behind her. Kendra, who's also sporting an absolutely hideous belted cowl-neck sweater-dress over a pair of white stirrup pants, brays, "I wanted to remind you to tell that Quinn girl not to vaccinate in the hospital -- I'm pretty sure those shots made my kids stupid." Ha! Terri unhesitatingly accepts her sister's advice, and immediately plans to spend the vaccination money on "the organic crib mattress." HA! "I mean," Terri rolls her eyes, wondering rhetorically, "what are the chances of the baby getting polio, right?" HA! And with just three brief lines of dialogue, Ryan Murphy takes down all of the vapid anti-vaccination assholes. Bravo, Mr. Murphy. Bravo. In any event, Will's had enough of this crap, and snatches the phone from Terri's hand to hang up on his sister-in-law. "I HATE YOU, WILL!" Kendra slurs into her now-dead cell while Terri howls, "That was rude! Don't take the stress of your workday out on me!" This sets Will off, and he launches into a self-serving, chauvinist, Neanderthal tirade about maintaining control over his own home even though he's losing everything resembling control at work, and of course it's all really about Terri's supposed pregnancy and how out of touch he feels with the whole process, especially after that morning's trip with Finn and Quinn, and when his pissy little hissy finally runs out of steam, he rises from the dinner table to insist, "I am coming with you to your next doctor's appointment." With that, he exits, and Terri freaks her insane little lying ass straight into the first commercial break.

The next day at school, Finn and Rachel amble through the hallway, with Finn wondering what Rachel had to do to keep J-Fro from publishing the pregnancy story. "Let's just say I feel sorry for my dads," Rachel replies, "because they're probably gonna have to dip into my college fund to pay for intensive therapy." But she doesn't mind, she hastens to add, as she'd gladly do anything to protect Finn. Oh, and Quinn, of course, because they're all teammates now. Finn thanks her for her awesomeness, and promises to repay the favor somehow someday before he heads off to his next class. Rachel, positively beaming from his attentions, smiles to herself and spins... right into J-Fro's chest! Ew! "I need another pair," he insists. Rachel gags. "What's wrong with the ones I already gave you?" she hisses. He reaches into his backpack to retrieve a lime-green thong, which he waves in front of her face while accusing, "They still have the tag on them!" EW! "I want Rachel Berry panties!" he demands, and he expects delivery by tomorrow morning or the story goes live. Rachel bats him away, then flails about in frustration, completely unnoticed by the swarms of teenagers around her.

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Glee

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