The madness, it spirals out of control. Sue is still concerned that Glee Club is imperiling her chances to win a national championship. She decides that if she can't destroy the club, she'll destroy Will. And her plan is to tell Terri that Will is having an affair with Emma, or is on the way to an affair. So Terri decides to keep an eye on Will by getting a job at the school -- as the school nurse (a job that's open because Sue pushed the elderly school nurse down the stairs). This leads to all kind of tension around the school. Emma and Will can no longer stare flirtatiously into each other's eyes, and Will feels smothered by Terri's constant presence. And then Terri ups the ante by convincing Ken Tanaka to propose to Emma. And she accepts, on the condition that they don't live together, socialize together, or tell a single person that they're married. Except that Emma tells Will, clearly hoping that he would beg her not to marry Ken. But he doesn't, and we're all sad.
Meanwhile, Will has noticed that the Glee Club kids have grown complacent after they learned that they have weak competition at sectionals. Inspired by Sue (!), he decides to motivate them by pitting the boys and girls in a competition against each other. Finn is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, so Puck encourages him to visit the school nurse to get a little nap time. Unfortunately, Terri prefers to treat listlessness with over-the-counter cough medicine, giving us a glimpse of what Finn would be like as a meth-head. He shares the medicinal bounty with the rest of the boys, and they put together an entertaining but high-speed mash-up of "It's My Life" and "Confessions." The girls realize they have to step up to win the competition, so they also resort to doping, and perform a very energetic mash-up of "Halo" and "Walking on Sunshine." In the end, Principal Figgins catches on to Terri's drug pushing and fires her as nurse. But Figgins also decides that Will's failure to notice that all his kids were high means he can't be trusted to have sole stewardship of Glee Club. So he appoints Sue as co-director of Glee. I know!
In the baby plot that nobody cares about, Quinn tells Terri that she can have her baby. But the deal might be jeopardized when Terri refuses to pay for Quinn's medical bills. Yeah, whatever.
Oh, and Sue has a journal. A journal full of Sue's thoughts. Sue's insane, demented thoughts. Don't you want to read that more than any other book in the universe?
Previously, on Glee: the show added its own previously-on-Glee bit, which I'm not going to recap.
Will is teaching some choreography to the Glee Club, but they are totally half-assing it. He demands some energy, since they have Sectionals in two weeks, but Mercedes insists that Sectionals will be a breeze. Mr. Schue tells the kids that what they do at Sectionals will set the tone for Regionals, so they have to shine. Kurt laughs at an inappropriate moment, and then explains that he was watching a funny YouTube video.
In the teachers' lounge, Will complains about the kids' attitude to Emma while they eat their lunch. She can't really pay attention, because he has an enormous glob of mustard on his (in her words), "cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple." Rather than just wiping it off, Will tries to lick his own chin and leans in closer and closer to Emma as he does. I can't tell if he's flirting in the grossest way possible or if he's just a moron. Finally, Emma reaches out with her plastic-gloved hand and wipes his chin off. The sexual tension, she is thick. Emma tries to end the flirting by returning to the subject of the Glee Club's ennui, asking when it began. Will tells her it started a week ago. And then we flash back to a week ago!
Glee rehearsal. Rachel is leading a dance rehearsal when Will enters and tells them that he's just got the competition bracket for Sectionals. There are only two teams they have to beat to make it to Regionals. And those two teams are... School for the Deaf and Jane Adams Academy. Which Mercedes happens to know is "a halfway house for girls just getting out of juvie." Everyone is thrilled that their only competition will be (in Arty's word), "people who can't hear what they're singing, and criminals who don't care." I don't know -- I understand that women's prisons can be very musical places.
Back in the present, Will tells Emma that once they kids learned who their competition was going to be, they stopped trying. Emma tells him that her parents used a sticker board to motivate her to do her chores when she was a kid. I'm having trouble imagining young Emma allowing anybody else in her house to clean one single thing when she was a kid. As she explains the idea of a sticker board, we hear Sue's voice: "Oh, dear God, please, please, stop talking. I'm trying desperately to ignore the treacly sweet inanity of your asinine conversation, but now I've got bile in my mouth. I will hold my tongue no further." Sue shows Will a roster of the Cheerios, and then tells him that each week she randomly picks a Cheerio and dismisses her from the team. Will doesn't seem to receptive to Sue's suggestion, so she reminds him that they're dealing with children: "They need to be terrified. It's like mother's milk to them. Without it, their bones won't grow properly." That's funny, I find fear inhibits bone development. Oh, wait, I may be thinking of a different kind of bone. Sue tells Will to find a way to unleash the kids' competitive spirits. And then, having shocked them both into silence, she stands to leave, but not before telling Emma, "Ellen, that blouse is just insane." (The blouse is a darling little sleeveless yellow number with an enormous bow at the neck.) Emma can't believe Sue's allowed to teach at the school. I can't believe she's allowed to come within 50 feet of a child. But Will thinks Sue may just have a point. Title screen.