Terri's on the phone with Howard Bamboo. She needs him to run to the pharmacy to pick her up a few boxes of decongestant so she can keep the kids of McKinley High healthy and happy. And buzzing around like bees on crack. How many boxes, you ask? Oh, just thirty-six. And then Ken enters her office, closing the door behind him. He tells her that he thinks his girlfriend is in love with her husband. Terri can't believe yet another person knows about this, and asks how long it's been going on. Ken: "I don't know. A couple months. I see them together all the time, laughing, talking, all the stuff she never does with me." Terri knew something was up when Emma couldn't take her eyes off Will during those "Acafella clown shows." Ken, first assistant to the head clown, seems a little offended, but steams ahead and asks if Will has ever mentioned Emma. Terri: "Oh no, he's too smart for that. I mean, just barely, but still." Terri tells Ken that she only took the job as the school nurse to keep an eye on Will. She needs to find a permanent solution to the Will/Emma problem soon, because "I'm not built to work five days a week." Ken has a plan: "Maybe if you and I started seeing each other on the side, it might kind of cancel their thing out." Terri doesn't even dignify that with a response, instead asking if Ken and Emma are still having sex. It turns out they've never had sex, because Emma doesn't like to be touched. By Ken. Ken starts crying, and Terri realizes this is the moment she's supposed to show some of that "human emotion" she's heard about, so she stands up and gingerly rubs his back. Only to recoil when he bemoans his sad fate, what with his psoriasis and his undescended testicle. Terri tells him to knock it off and man up. With a glint of steel in her eye, she tells him to go straight to the nearest department store to buy an engagement ring. "And then you're going to get down on one knee, and you're gonna ask that doe-eyed little harlot to marry you." Ken can't do that because he's terrified she'll say "no," but Terri hands him some Vitamin D and tells him that after he takes a couple of those, he'll be able to do anything.
Episode Report CardLTG: A | 2142 USERS: B-
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