In any event, Our Sweet Little Baby Gay practically explodes into a flock of glittery, rainbow-colored flying unicorns at the news, excitedly revealing he has an entire iPod Shuffle dedicated to selections from the musical in question, so he and his $280 2010 Gucci cruise cap are quite naturally put off when Mr. Schue -- naturally -- assigns Rachel the lead vocals, and we have now reached Primary Conundrum Number Five. Before anything really gets going with that one, however, Mr. Schue brings up this rehearsal session's second point of new business: Artie's handicapable Sectionals bus, and the fact that they have no money to pay for it. Well, shit, Will -- just have Kurt auction off a couple of his accessories on eBay, and you'll be set for the entire season. He could probably even pay for Quinn's abortion down in Columbus while he's at it. See? More options! Will doesn't listen to me, because you simply cannot trust a man with curly hair, and instead suggests a bake sale. Are you all familiar with the concept of the turd in the punchbowl? Excellent, because that's exactly how Mr. Schue's suggestion goes over with the kids. "You're joking, right?" Santana Lopez snorts, delightful disdain dripping from every word. "I mean, bake sales are kind of bougie." "So, hip people stopped eating delicious, sugary treats?" Mr. Schue shoots back. "It's not that?" Britney begins, as the spare, scattered brain cells bouncing around inside her thick skull struggle to fire at each other. "It's most of us?" she continues ungrammatically. "Don't know how to bake?" "I find?" she concludes, making it personal. "Recipes... confusing?" And then she sits there like a gazelle in the headlights while my TV girlfriend Santana Lopez shoots her a withering side-eye. HA! The others chime in with additional objections, most citing today's fast-paced teen culture as reasons to pass on the idea before Mercedes brings up a point Principal Figgins made earlier: "Can't Artie's dad just take him?"
Episode Report CardDemian: C+ | 2720 USERS: B
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