For yes, gentle reader, Kurt's arrived at Hummel Tire & Lube to confess to his father that he blew the high F on purpose. "I wanted to lose," he explains, as a dismayed and somewhat irritated Burt collapses into a chair. "I've known who I was since I was five," Kurt continues, "and I adapted -- being different made me stronger, and at the end of the day, it's what's gonna get me out of this cowtown. But you never had to do that." "I can handle myself just fine," Mr. Hummel blusters, but Kurt just sadly shakes his head. "No, you can't. Not about this -- that phone call yesterday was just the beginning, especially if I get up in front of a thousand people to sing a girl's song." Burt's quiet as Kurt emotionally adds, "When I saw you, right after you got the call, and you were so hurt and so upset, it just killed me." Burt opens his mouth as if to speak, but Kurt jumps in with the following: "I'm not saying I'm gonna hide in the closet -- I'm proud of who I am -- I'm just saying that I love you more than I love being a star." Burt finally finds his voice, and affectionately and admiringly tells his strange little son, "You are your mother -- she was always the strong one." And then, the macho kicks in, and it's fine, because they understand each other, and Mr. Hummel asks if Kurt would like to help him put something called "a one ninety-five" on the car he'd been working on. "Let me change into my coveralls," Kurt smiles before gesturing at his top and explaining, "The sweater's an Alexander McQueen." Maybe Kurt shoplifts all of his clothes. Either that, or he's secretly turning tricks down at the truck stop in between Cridersville and Wapakoneta. It's gotta be one or the other, don't you think?
And, finally, we reach the promised wheelchair number: "Proud Mary," officially by John Fogerty and Creedence Clearwater Revival, but forever in my heart by Miss Tina Turner. It works, of course, for both Artie and Kurt's storylines this evening, what with the repeated "Rollin'!" in the beginning for the former and, of course, the "proud Mary" bit throughout the rest of the song for the latter, and it's cute to watch them dorking out with their Busby Berkeley-esque wheelchair choreography, and it's nice that Artie and Single-T Tina get featured solos during what's essentially an excuse for Mercedes to blast the rafters one more time, but it left me feeling a little meh, overall. Maybe I shouldn't have watched Tina's version before writing this paragraph.