Whatever. I'm sure I could hammer this into something resembling perfect sense were I given enough time, but I've got Artie's broken heart to attend to at the moment. For yes, gentle reader, Artie and T-T-T-Tina are having a playful little wheelchair date through the halls of the now-empty school, but it ends badly when T-T-T-Tina screws up her courage to admit she's simply Single-T Tina. She'd been faking the stutter, you must understand, ever since the sixth grade, because she didn't want to deliver an oral report on The Missouri Compromise, and she was shy, and the stutter made people think she was weird, so they left her alone, but she doesn't want to be left alone anymore. This sad little story of hers goes over about as well as one would expect, with Artie dumping her lying ass and wheeling off to nurse his hurt feelings while Single-T Tina looks miserable and depressed. I'd like to care, but given the fact this relationship lasted less than the length of a single episode, I don't, and besides, I've got Kurt's broken heart to attend to at the moment.
For yes, gentle reader, Kurt's arrived at Hummel Tire & Lube to confess to his father that he blew the high F on purpose. "I wanted to lose," he explains, as a dismayed and somewhat irritated Burt collapses into a chair. "I've known who I was since I was five," Kurt continues, "and I adapted -- being different made me stronger, and at the end of the day, it's what's gonna get me out of this cowtown. But you never had to do that." "I can handle myself just fine," Mr. Hummel blusters, but Kurt just sadly shakes his head. "No, you can't. Not about this -- that phone call yesterday was just the beginning, especially if I get up in front of a thousand people to sing a girl's song." Burt's quiet as Kurt emotionally adds, "When I saw you, right after you got the call, and you were so hurt and so upset, it just killed me." Burt opens his mouth as if to speak, but Kurt jumps in with the following: "I'm not saying I'm gonna hide in the closet -- I'm proud of who I am -- I'm just saying that I love you more than I love being a star." Burt finally finds his voice, and affectionately and admiringly tells his strange little son, "You are your mother -- she was always the strong one." And then, the macho kicks in, and it's fine, because they understand each other, and Mr. Hummel asks if Kurt would like to help him put something called "a one ninety-five" on the car he'd been working on. "Let me change into my coveralls," Kurt smiles before gesturing at his top and explaining, "The sweater's an Alexander McQueen." Maybe Kurt shoplifts all of his clothes. Either that, or he's secretly turning tricks down at the truck stop in between Cridersville and Wapakoneta. It's gotta be one or the other, don't you think?