Episode Report Card
LTG: C+ | 3 USERS: B-
The Incredible Kurt's Wonder Bone

Mercedes and Mike Chang accost New Puck in the stairwell to tell him that Mercedes wants him to join Mike as a featured dancer in her video. They also want him to step up and take a leadership role in the New Directions, since he's a "triple threat." By which they mean he's a singer, dancer and sex bomb. I can't argue with them. And yet I still don't care.

Doctor's office. Kurt paces while Carol and Burt sit and wait. Hey, it's Carol. Too bad Finn couldn't make it home from his local university to join them. Anyway, Kurt freaks out that Burt wore a dark-colored t-shirt, and Burt freaks out about his own impending mortality. But then the doctor comes in and we learn that Burt's cancer is in complete remission. Yay! Commercials.

Kurt, in some very form-fitting orange pants, is in the music room with the assembled kiddies. He's waiting for Burt to get there because he wants to sing a song dedicated to him. And that song is "You Are the Sunshine of My Life," with Tina, New Rachel and Pretty Kitty on backup.

Fake New York Theater School. Rachel is in the dance studio running lines for her callback when Cassie July enters the room. Cassie is there for the express purpose of being a total bitch, and she's gloriously good at it. She points out to Rachel that, "Actors less narcissistic than yourself actually prefer to rehearse with other actors." She also claims that she learned about Rachel's callback from her good pal Barbra Streisand, and that she and Barbra plan to be there at the callback to watch Rachel fail. She also impliedly threatens to schedule Rachel's dance mid-term so it conflicts with the callback, leading Rachel to beg her not to mess things up. But Cassandra July wouldn't dream of messing up Rachel's big chance to fail, so she's rescheduling the mid-term for 6:00 the next morning. And she assigns her some impossibly difficult ballet role as her exam. Atta girl.

Back in the music room, Mike Chang calls New Puck up to demonstrate the dancing and singing skills that make him a true New Directions leader. New Puck sings "I Wish," while Mike dances with him. Jacob Artist is a fine dancer, but it's really not fair to make him dance next to Harry Shum. Very few people could stand that comparison. At the end of the number, Mike Chang quietly points out to Kurt that Mercedes is missing.

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