After rehearsal, Sam trails Mercedes out of the room to her locker and asks her if she thinks she'll ever get married. She's sure she will, but not until after her first Grammy. Sam asks if she has any idea who the guy will be, because he thinks it should be him. Wow, that's a little fast for a guy who's not even dating her. She reminds him that she's dating man-mountain Shane. He thinks it's because he's a big jock with his letterman's jacket. Mercedes tries to remind him that their relationship was just a summer fling, and summer's long over.
Artie wheels up to Sugar and suggests they work on a number together for Will's proposal. Sugar cuts him off, and tells him that he's sweet, but she doesn't want to go out with him. "It's not that you're disabled. It's that I'm abled. And people can be really mean. I'm really worried people are gonna think your legs look thinner than my arms." As she leaves, Becky runs up to Artie and asks him, "Hey, Artie, can we go out?" He's not sure what she means, and she clarifies that she means a date. And then she reaches over and caresses his hair, just before we cut to commercial.
Sam enters the locker room, which is full of way too many guys wearing way too many clothes, and tells Coach Beiste that he wants to join the basketball team. She asks him where he was when it was time for tryouts. Sam: "In a motel in Kentucky." He explains that he needs a letterman's jacket ASAP. She tells him that every team is full up, except for one. "But I don't think you're gonna be interested."
Cut to shirtless Sam (the best kind of Sam, in my opinion), emerging like a god from the swimming pool, held aloft on the hands of a bunch of bathing beauties. Can I get an amen? Sam walks out of the pool and another male synchronized swimmer hands him his chamois, which he must guard with his life, because every Guppy gets one and only one. He's also required to think of a water-themed nickname for the back of his robe -- for example, "Vinnie the Gill." He asks if Trouty Mouth would work. And then he is approached by the fabulous NeNe Leakes, who introduces herself thusly: "Sam Evans, I am Coach Roz Washington, and you are one strange looking kid. I have never seen lips like that on a white child, and one of your nipples is higher than the other. I bet you've had to overcome a lot with those crooked nipples. Well, I know a thing or two about overcoming. When I was growing up, they said black folks couldn't swim. But I had a DREAM, that one day I would get to the Promised Land. So I swam my way and got my forty acres and a pool." Vinnie the Gill tells Sam that Coach Roz swam in the Olympics. After informing Sam about the existence of individual synchronized swimming, Coach Roz approaches Sam (who is covering his nipples in embarrassment): "I'm gonna say one thing to you, Sam Evans, and I'm only gonna say it once. If you pee in my pool, I will kill you." I kind of can't wait for a scene between Roz and Sue.