Episode Report Card
LTG: A- | Grade It Now!
Long Live the Queens

Becky strides down the hall with a royal voice-over: "Here am I, Becky Faye Jackson, about to seal the deal. Boo-yah! At this year's Special Olympics Ball, I'll have a medal around my neck and some man-candy on my arm. I absolutely rock." And then she walks up to Artie and tells him, "Hey hottie! My place. We're gonna do it." Artie's not following, so she tells him she just texted him "a taste of what you're gonna get on Friday night." The text arrives on Artie's phone, and it's pretty shocking.

How shocking you ask? Shocking enough to send him straight to Sue, who looks at the text and says, "She's got a cute little shape." Artie tells Sue that he's freaking out. She asks him if Brit-Brit ever sent him any naughty photos, and he claims it's different. Sue asks him if he took her to dinner, and he cops to having a great time. And then Sue asks him if he wants to go out with Becky again, and he admits he doesn't. Sue: "Well here's a radical idea. Why don't you treat her like a real person, and tell her. Becky just wants to be treated like everybody else. You of all people should know that. So why don't you tell her the truth, so she can move on and date someone who doesn't sound like one of those weird puppets they bring around to the grade schools to teach kids about sexual predator? And for God's sake, could you maybe go one day without the driving gloves? It's a wheelchair, Artie, not a Porsche." Artie: "Are you finished?" Sue: "Stop buttoning your shirts up all the way like a demented 90-year old. You look like you're auditioning for the lead in your nursing home's stage production of Awakenings."

Will and Emma's house. Emma demonstrates why the Christmas tree is still up in mid-January -- she's taking off the decorations, a process that involves polishing each one before it is carefully stored in a tray. Will enters, and she tells him she's almost done. He points out that she started on New Year's Day. She asks him to take a seat at the dining room table, and then she asks him if he ever plans to marry her. He tells her that he does, but she knows there's a "but" coming. Will: "I love you. You know that. But what if we get married? What happens when we have a house, and a baby? How are you going to handle spit-up on your special Wednesday sweater? Sweetheart, you can't control another person. What if it's all just too much?" Never bet against the stupidity of Will Schuester. Of course he listened to Emma's hateful parents.

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