Glory Days
Clowning Glory

Episode Report Card
Wendola: D+ | Grade It Now!
Clowns and...uh, Clowns

Rudy shows up at the Dolan house, and Sara answers the door. He's there to ask Dim out to lunch. Dim just stands there and takes at least five seconds to say anything each time she's spoken to. She goes off to get ready, and Rudy asks Sara why she decided to invite Dim to come visit. "She just called me up and asked if she could come," says Sara. "So you haven't spoken to her all these years and she just -- called up?" asks Rudy. It must be a sorority thing.

At the Hash 'n' Whore, Stud Clown sits at the counter and continues to hit on Sam and Sam continues to smack him down with complete overkill, which is why Zane hopped on the ferry with a couple of Hazel's credit cards and hitchhiked to Portland and is hustling on the streets like the guys in My Own Private Idaho and has decided that scrubbing some old guy's floor dressed as the Little Dutch Boy is way better than putting up with Sam's shit. Anyway, DickClown walks in. "Excuse me," says Hazel, "unless you're here to return something, I suggest you get the hell out of here!" DickClown steps up behind Stud Clown and pushes his face into his plate. "You took something from these two lovely ladies and I suggest you give it back before I push your face into this counter," says DickClown. Stud Clown digs out the necklace and hands it over to Sam. DickClown tells Stud Clown to get the hell out of the restaurant. "Thank you," says Sam. Hazel is apologetic. "I'm not the crook here," says DickClown, disgusted. "I just wanted to get something to eat." He clown-clomps out.

Mike at the Gazette office. Ellie walks in. They discuss his novel some more. Okay, this one time? I was dating this guy who, from about our second date on, kept talking about his novel that he'd been working on for years. Well, except he would never tell me much about it except to say things like, "Yeah, I need to get a typewriter so I can work on the novel," and "I'm think I'm going to try and get a Guggenheim fellowship for the novel." And so we were in this bar, and we were talking, and it was around this time in my life that I had the admittedly unfortunate habit of singing along to that City High song "What Would You Do," whenever I heard it, which I know was sort of annoying, but so was he sometimes; anyway he was talking about The Novel without actually really saying anything about The Novel, and suddenly that City High song came on and I busted out with "What-would-you- do-if-your-son- was-at-home! Cryin'-all-alone- on-da-bedroom-floor! Cuz-he's-hungry!" and so on, you know, just for fun, and I looked over and saw that he was completely glaring at me, so I stopped and said, "Oh, sorry, go on with what you were saying," But he just pouting into his beer and I was all, "No, really. I'm sorry. I was listening," and still he kept sighing and brooding and wouldn't let me apologize, and was all, "Now I'll never show you the novel," though later his best friend told me that he's never shown The Novel to anyone anyway, and for what it's worth, that City High song has plot, and dialogue, and multiple storylines, and ethical conflicts (should the single-mom stripper sleep with a man for a little bit of money?), and the Snoop Doggy Dogg sample part in the middle is sort of an extra-narrative Joycean sequence, and, well, that's all more than anyone could ever say about The Novel. Anyway, Mike and Ellie: pretty much the same deal, only with more brooding and more apologies.

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Glory Days




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