Opening credits. There's Action! There's Drama! There's Kissing! There's Explosions! They're trying.
Oh, and just try to count all the cootchie shots in that Levi's Superlow Stretch commercial. Augh! There's a crotch! Augh! Another one! Augh! Crotch! Augh!
Morning at Kreepy Kottage. Mike shows up at Ellie's door with a soy latte in hand babbling presumptuously about the profile he's writing on her: "The Corpse Lady: A Woman To Die For." Ellie is so not in the mood and says that it's not a good time for her to do the interview and tries to close the door, and Mike does that pushing-the-door- back-and-holding- it-open thing that we all find so endearing. "I usually get to annoy you for a while longer before you kick me out," he says, and his annoying self-reference of his annoying tendencies proves to be annoying in an infinite-regress kind of way that makes me dizzy and...well, annoyed. Ellie says she's changed her mind about the interview and hastily shuts the door. Mike turns to leave and then remembers that he wanted to give her the soy latte! She needs that soy latte! Why, this looks like a job for Bad Boundary Boy! So he just opens the door and waltzes into her house, and he walks by the lab area where there's this weird sort of makeshift shower, and Ellie's brunette friend is showering, and Mike sees him, and it's just so porno, I mean, right down to all the wacky contrivances, but before Mike can say, "Special delivery!" he bumps into a table and makes a bunch of glass beaker thingies crash to the floor. Ellie comes out. "Mike?!" "There's a man in there," says Mike, looking away and bristling with I Am So Not Gay horror. "Uh, YEAH, I KNOW," says Ellie, annoyed. Mike: "What's going on, Ellie?" Ellie: "What does it look like?" Well, it looks like Locker Room Butt Sluts Volume 3, but never mind that. Ellie tells Mike that it's none of his business and she's hella pissed and kicks him out of the house and orders him to keep quiet about her friend because she doesn't want anyone to know he's there.
Mike goes and tells Sheriff Rudy that there was a naked guy at Ellie's place. Both Mike and Rudy feel a strong need to clarify the "naked" part more than once. They're at the counter of Hazel's diner (motto: "Like HoJo, except without the 'Jo'"); Hazel comes by and tells Mike he should take a stand and let Ellie know he likes her, and says that the "'friendly' strategy of going in the back door" just isn't working. Did she have to say "back door"? Over at the booth, Sara and Mitzi are reading the Seattle Tribune. Sara reads aloud the front-page story on the murders and gripes to Mitzi that they don't have a Seattle correspondent and always get the news second-hand. Mitzi's like, "Whatever. Their cooking section sucks." Mitzi is cute. I want Mitzi to move to Stars Hollow on Gilmore Girls if this show tanks. Like the government should just relocate her and all the other supporting characters and place them in good homes in other small, eccentric TV towns.