Glory Days
Death, Lies And Videotape

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C+ | Grade It Now!
Spinsters and Stabbers

Dolan house. Mitzi and Sam are sitting on the couch while Sara paces back and forth with a clipboard getting ready for Big Date 2002. She barks out orders: Sam and Mitzi may smile and say hello to Handsome Bachelor; Mitzi may offer Handsome Bachelor a beverage. Comical fuss over beverage choice ensues. Comical fuss over Sara's appearance. Comical protests from Sara that she and Handsome Bachelor are JUST going to dinner and it's NOT a big deal. Comical silly spinster antics abound.

Kreepy Kottage. Oh, good: more Mike Abject Humiliation Porn. Mike's lying on his side, still tied to the chair, looking up at Ellie's Friend William, who is brandishing the hunting knife and has way better pectoral muscles than Mike. "You like her, don't you?" William asks. "Yes, but not in any way that competes with you," Mike says sheepishly. William grabs Mike's chair and sets him upright. "If you like her so much, why didn't you listen to Ellie when she told you to keep your mouth shut?" asks William. "I'm an idiot," says Mike. "Ask anyone!" ["I've never even seen the show and I'd corroborate that story." -- Wing Chun] Then William hears someone come in through the front door. "Ellie?" he says. There's no answer, so he stuffs a rag in Mike's mouth and grabs the hunting knife. Okay, here I go again: this guy is hiding out from a serial killer and the weapon he's chosen to bring along for self-defense is a knife? Does he think using a GUN would be too standoffish or something? Doesn't he understand that you can fire a gun completely at random on Glory Island and it'll always hit someone? William goes into the other room, and Mike can see his shadow through the curtain. Then another guy's shadow comes in and attacks William's shadow. Struggle, struggle; stab, stab; thump. William falls to the floor. The other guy leaves. Then Ellie comes in through the curtains with a shopping bag like two seconds later. Apparently she didn't notice a serial killer running out of her house or anything, and also didn't see her friend's body lying on the floor or anything, but she has a hunch something is wrong and for some reason she unties Mike FIRST and then rushes out to find William lying unconscious on the floor with, like, a teeny tiny little stab mark on his torso. Ellie tries to take his pulse and yells for Mike to call an ambulance, and, um, doesn't she have medical training or something? But I guess William was just one of those Extra Killable types and there's nothing she can do.

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Glory Days




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