Police station. The Perky Secretary Who Has Little Nothing Scenes That I Never Mention In These Recaps is still squabbling with Tech Guy. And over in Rudy's office, Ellie tells Agent Trenchcoat that she doesn't want the FBI's crappy-ass protection. Yeah, she'll just take her business to another Federal agency! Yeah, she'll try the ATF! They have lots of guns and stuff! And better service! Yeah! Rudy plans to have his deputies watch her around the clock. Mike doesn't think this is such a great idea. They need a Plan.
Elsewhere, the Seattle Tribune runs a front-page story about William's death. Sara is pissed: "I had that story!" It's probably enough to make her want to go home and eat Häagen-Dazs and talk to Fabio on her favorite romance novel cover.
Mike is walking up to the Kottage when he sees Handsome Bachelor snapping pictures of the house. "I thought I'd take in some of the beautiful scenery," he tells Mike, "since I'm on vacation and all." "This is private property," says Mike. Handsome Bachelor explains, not very convincingly, that he thought this was "one of those historical sites." He also tries to hide the camera. "Why are you really here?" Mike asks. "I told you, I'm on vacation," says Handsome Bachelor, snippily, and walks off.
Meanwhile, Ellie comes out wheeling another barrel of "FLAMMABLE" stuff into her yard. Mike approaches the house and says hi to Deputy Tim, who is standing guard. Just then there's a huge KABOOM in the yard where Ellie is. The whole garden goes up in a big huge fireball. Mike screams. Yeesh.
Cut to commercials. And then there's one of those "If you've just tuned into the WB, here's what's happening on Glory Days..." thingies. If you just tuned in: Mike's a jerk; Rudy's not gay; Ellie exploded.
Everyone's investigating the explosion. "This doesn't look like Braxton's M.O.," says Agent Trenchcoat. Rudy says that Ellie was carrying a barrel of embalming fluid and apparently it accidentally ignited. Trenchcoat tells Rudy, ever so tactfully, that this wouldn't have happened if the FBI had been watching Ellie. Mike stands and looks down at the covered body; Sara comes up and comforts him. Then Mike seriously loses his shit and goes up and starts shaking Rudy. "Why'd you let her go?!! She'd be alive if it weren't for you!!! She's dead, DEAD!" This isn't Lifetime and Ellie is not your baby who got sold to the Russian Mob, Mike, so, um, tone it down. Rudy sees some guy in a ski cap taking pictures of the body; the guy says he's Larry McFarr from the Seattle Tribune, and shows his press pass. Rudy orders the guy to stay behind the police barricade and confiscates his film. Sara spots Handsome Bachelor standing with the other onlookers and he comes over. "I came to see if there was anything I could do," says Handsome Bachelor, looking meaningfully at Sara. Because chicks dig it when guys pick them up at grisly death sites.