Hash 'n' Whore. Zane and Sam are filling ketchup bottles; Zane is trying to convince Sam that massage is very therapeutic. "Zane, I'm not touching you. Ever," says Sam. Zane: "Aw, Sam, your mouth says 'no,' but your eyes -- " Sam: "My fist says 'no,' too." Heh. Hazel walks by and says, "Just jump each other and get it over with," just like a mother should. Sam rolls her eyes. Just then, three cheerleaders walk into the diner and sit down at a booth. Zane gleefully goes to wait on them while Sam and Hazel make lame bulimia jokes. Well, as opposed to good bulimia jokes. But I guess there aren't any. Forget I even brought it up. Ha! Get it?! "Brought it up"?! Sorry. Zane flirts with the cheerleaders. Because this is Glory Days, I keep hoping they'll be thrill-killing Satan-worshipping telekinetic half-wolf cheerleaders. But they're just cheerleaders. One of the cheerleaders flirts back. Zane is thrilled. You know, the whole universe seems to want Zane to have sex. Zane comes back to the counter; Sam asks him what the cheerleaders have to say. "I'll tell you, if you promise to fall off your stool in jealousy," says Zane. Sam says that won't happen. Sam looks up coyly at the ceiling. Sam does a lot of that, actually; maybe her cue cards are up there?

At the police station, Rudy closes the blinds in his office and tells Mike that he'd had a dinner date with Miss Victim of the Week the night before, and he thinks the murder happened right after he left. Apparently, she was fairly new to the area. "That's what I liked about her...she didn't know anything about me," says Rudy. Mike asks him how they met. The bittersweet music -- heretofore known as the Tragic Loneliness Theme -- plays as Rudy explains they met through the personals.