Glory Days
Everybody Loves Rudy

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C | Grade It Now!
Dates and Dorks

Mike, Sara, and Mitzi look up the personals files and find that two people responded to Dead Date's ad: Rudy and...Personal Howard! Who also answered Veronica Roberts's ad! And he violated company policy in doing so! And he's a big fat liar! "I think we have our killer," says Mike. Because Mike really knows the mind of a killer. The dorky, fibbing mind of a killer.

Sam gets Zane ready for his date, which is to say she puts tons of styling products on his hair, and randomly combs it in one direction and then slicks it in a other direction, and she teases his hair, and rolls her eyes at his hair, and flirts with his hair, and ignores his hair, and gets pissed at his hair, and slaps his hair, and then forgives his hair, and teases his hair some more, and gives his hair the silent treatment, and writes "Hair" in bubble letters on her notebook, and calls his hair late at night, and really, she's just friends with his hair, and when his hair tells her how it really feels about her she changes the subject.

Rudy sits in his cell idly shuffling a deck of cards. It's been what, four hours in prison, and already he's taken to pointless card-shuffling; in another ten minutes or so, he'll break open a Bic pen and give himself a tattoo, and then after dinner he'll try to get beat up in the weight room. Ellie comes by and stands outside his cell. "I'm feeling a little bad here, Rudy," she says, shakily. Rudy says she was just doing her job. She explains that she freaked out when she found Rudy's prints on the knife, even though she doesn't think he's a killer. "I'm not very good with living people," she says, and goes into the old blah blah blah about how that's why she spends all her time with cadavers because she's a huge fucking freak blah blah. Rudy says that he's not very good with living people, either. "Is that why you answered the personal ads?" Ellie asks. Oh, jeez, here we go again with this show's whole Everyone Is An Emotionally Retarded Freak theme, like this is fucking Magnolia or something. Rudy has just explained to Ellie that his fingerprints wound up on the knife after he used it to take the seal off the wine bottle, when Mike butts in and makes some crack about Ellie's fingerprints being on "the knife in Rudy's back." "Oh, thanks a lot. Thanks for understanding," snipes Ellie, who stomps off. Mike tells Rudy that Personal Howard dated Dead Date. His theory: Howard was repressing lots of anger about lonely women who would take out ads but never paid attention to him, and when he asked out Dead Date and she rejected him, Howard snapped. Rudy points out that there's no evidence; he thinks the killer might be Dead Date's friend Veronica, since she'd fought with Dead Date and had a key to her place. "Maybe I should talk to her!" says Mike. "No!" says Rudy. "Just let the professionals do their job or I may never get out of here." Oooh. Cold. Mike stomps off.

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Glory Days




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