Back at the Gazette office, Sam and Zane are sitting around in the dark, waiting for Sara to come and give them a ride home. Wait, why are they there? Oh yeah, because they went to tell Mike and Rudy about the board game. But how did they know Mike and Rudy were there in the first place? Huh. Good question. And why didn't they just go with them to the police station? Why are they sitting around waiting for something scary to happen? Why don't Sam and Zane just pick up the phone and call the police when they hear somebody break a window? Why does Zane tell Sam to stay put while he goes to see what's going on? Why does Sam not stay the hell put and instead go to look for Zane? Why, in the name of all that is holy, did Kevin Williamson, Lord Emperor of Annoying Self-Reference, decide to do a climactic suspense scene involving THE ONLY TWO KIDS IN AMERICA WHO HAVEN'T SEEN SCREAM?

Bing! "So, do you want me to record Scream the next time it comes on? Because, you know, I can do that." Shut up, TiVo.

Meanwhile, back at the police station, Mike and Rudy figure out that Mr. Biggs must have planted the fake card when he confiscated the "Grim Reaper" game, which means he must be the murderer. And, duh, Mr. Biggs is now totally terrorizing Sam and Zane at the newspaper office. Sam at least manages to dial the police before Mr. Biggs whacks Zane and chases Sam around for the three seconds it takes for Mike and Rudy to come to their rescue. Sam's okay, Zane's unconscious, and then Mr. Biggs -- who momentarily disappeared -- jumps down from the ceiling because maybe he teaches Physics or something, and rushes Rudy and knocks the gun out of his hand. And then Mike punches Mr. Biggs a bunch of times and Mr. Biggs falls down, and then Mrs. Bowers shows up out of nowhere and picks up Rudy's gun and corners Rudy and Mike and Sam, and of course by now we're supposed to have figured out that she was having an affair with Mr. Biggs. And then she does the whole gun-waving confession thing: she thought this would work! She thought the kids would get blamed and they'd just get a slap on the wrist! She just wanted her husband to be gone! She thought this show would be sweet and funny like Northern Exposure and that falling off a ferryboat would seem like just one of those quirky things!