Glory Days

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C+ | 828 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Mystics and Lipsticks

Mike and Rudy go to Local Loser's house. Well, I guess it's Local Loser's parents' house, because Local Loser is really that big a loser. Mike accuses Local Loser of having something to do with Sam's disappearance, and L.L. is all, "Dude, I was just talking to her." Rudy looks over a shelf in the living room and finds a pile of photos. "Hey, that's personal, man!" says Loser. The photos are of Loser's ex-girlfriend, and they're all snapshots of her in her car, taken from a distance. "These are recent," Rudy notes. "Yeah, I run into her from time to time," says Loser. "Looks more like you're stalking her," says Mike. Rudy wants to look around some more, but Loser tells them to get a warrant. Mike starts chapping Loser's ass about being the Golden Boy- turned-pathetic-creep. Loser's like, "Yeah, well, you suck, too," and Mike takes it personally, and tries to punch Loser, and whatever, drama queen, can we get back to looking for your missing kid sister now?

Back in The Cellar of Wherever, Frosty is obsessively circling her mouth with lipstick in high camp style, just like Diana Ross in that Billie Holiday biopic, and she's crying and snuffling and her mascara is running, and she's all like, "Help me, Mary Kay, you're my only hope!" She hands the lipstick to Sam to use. "What are you doing?" asks Sam. "You don't have any choice," sobs Frosty. "He wants us to put on makeup...we have to do what he wants!" Sam says, "What if he 'wants' to make dresses out of our skin like that guy in Silence of the Lambs," and, oh, great example Sam, thanks for bringing that up. "Are you going to do what he says, then? Forget it." Frosty crawls over to a corner of the room and points out a message scratched on the wall: "DON'T DISOBEY HIM -- MOLLY." "Molly's not here anymore, Sam!" says Frosty. Frosty says that she wants to stay alive, and if it takes putting on makeup to please some pervert, that's what she's going to do. Yeah, Sam, get with the compulsory heterosexuality in our patriarchal society already, jeez. Frosty hands the lipstick to Sam again. Sam reluctantly puts the lipstick to her lips, because it's so not her color either, and puts some on.

Glory Days

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