Glory Days
Miss Fortune Teller

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C | Grade It Now!
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Mystics and Lipsticks

Ellie and Mike find the door to the basement room, which is hidden behind a bookcase. Ellie goes upstairs to call Rudy. Mike can hear Sam and Frosty screaming inside and tries to break down the door, but suddenly, right behind him, is Miss Creepo/Daddy, dressed in black men's clothes and holding a gun. Miss Creepo/Daddy looks at him menacingly and says, "Pull my finger." Okay, really she/he says, "Leave my girls alone," and she/he shoots Mike in the arm. Mike slides to the floor, and Miss Creepo/Daddy comes over, still pointing the gun, and then, before he/she can finish him off, changes personalities again. I guess that personality has ADD. Now Miss Creepo/Suzy is saying, "Daddy shot you. Guess you were pretty bad, huh?" and then she sticks her finger in Mike's bullet wound. Oooh. Better put some Bactine on that. Mike's like, "Aauuggghhh!" and Miss Creepo/Suzy screams, "Aauuggghhh!" and giggles. And now I'm typing this with one hand because the other one is clutching my arm. Then Rudy calls from upstairs, and Miss Creepo/Suzy runs into another room. (There's like, always another room for her to run into. Is this Aaron Spelling's house or something?) Rudy and Ellie come down into the basement, and Rudy kicks down the door to Sam and Frosty's cell. Then everyone's hugging, and do they just think Miss Creepo/Suzy has just gone off to rip the heads off her My Pretty Pony collection and stick her fingers in the neck sockets? Whatever they think, Miss Creepo/Daddy suddenly pops up again: "Naughty girls talking to strangers." She aims the gun at them and steps forward, and then Sam rushes her and grabs her arms so that the gun fires into the ceiling, and then Rudy grabs Miss Creepo and cuffs her.

Denoument blah blah blah. Miss Creepo's DNA was on the inhaler: duh. Mitzi is overjoyed that Sam is alive: duh. Mitzi throws Hazel a bone by admitting Zane's a good kid. Zane tells Sam, "Sorry about the whole getting-you-kidnapped thing." Tender teen moments ensue. Sam pulls Zane into a hallway and says, "I'm only doing this because I'm extremely happy to be alive," and gives him a big smooch. Then there's some more Sexual Tension blibbety blah with Mike and Ellie. Mike watches Ellie's ass as she walks out of the room and says "the future looks promising," and, well, you'll have to guess what I think of that, and I think you can.

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Glory Days

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