Glory Days
Miss Fortune Teller

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C | Grade It Now!
Mystics and Lipsticks

Meanwhile, Mike is flirting with Miss Creepo and asking her to predict his future. Miss Creepo takes his hand, and suddenly she gets all weird: "Your sister Sam...she'll be taken, like the others." Mike's freaked out. Miss Creepo acts like she's going to faint. "Are you all right?" asks Mike. Miss Creepo insists she's fine, and that she just needs some water, and walks off. Mike gets out his cell phone and makes a call.

Elsewhere, Sam is trying to get away from Local Loser, who is all like, "Don't you know who I am? I was the All-American quarterback!" "Yeah, like, a decade ago," says Sam. "Maybe it's time you stepped into the new millennium." She shoves him away and walks off.

Back at the Dolan house, Mitzi and Sara are now giving each other manicures; I bet later they plan to play with Tupperware and write fan letters to Tom Jones. The phone rings; it's Mike calling. "Mom, is Sam with you?" Mitzi says Sam's upstairs with Zane. Mike says that's not possible, because he sees Zane at the party. Mitzi freaks, puts the phone and receiver aside, and starts calling up the stairs. "Sam? Sam?!" But there's no answer -- only the ceiling fan turning slowly, slowly, and the Angelo Badalamenti soundtrack starts up, and...oh, sorry. I'm getting this confused with another show again.

Sam leaves the house where the party is taking place and walks through the yard, and suddenly there's nobody hanging out in the yard; this is a once-a-year teen/townie kegger extravaganza and there's nobody outside smoking, or puking, or making out, or crying because Terri is being such a bitch to them,, smoking -- nobody around except one person who is standing in the shadow and doesn't seem to be doing any of those things, and Sam gets suspicious and turns back. And then it starts raining, and, okay, are you sure nobody would be outside smoking? Because I've been to the Pacific Northwest, and I've been to parties there, and we'd all be standing outside smoking, and it would start raining, and I'd be like, "Hey, um, it's raining," and everyone else would look up and say, "Oh, yeah," and they'd all just still stand there, smoking. Anyway, Sam starts to panic because the Non-Smoking Whoever-It-Is is following her, hissing, "Sssaaaammm," and she runs back to the house.

Inside, Mike has found Zane, who has lost track of Sam, and they're bitching at each other while like six feet away Sam is desperately rattling the front door. Which is locked. At a party. And she's like, "HELP! I'm stuck in Bizarro Party World! Let me out!" But Sam and Zane don't hear her, and then the black glove of Hooded Predator closes over her mouth. Ooh, ahh, eek; commercial break.

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Glory Days




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