Glory Days
Miss Fortune Teller

Episode Report Card
Wendola: C | Grade It Now!
Mystics and Lipsticks

Meanwhile, at the police station, Rudy interrogates Stan the Asthmatic Jock With An Attitude. Whatever.

Mike gets Miss Creepo to help him break into Local Loser's house; apparently he wants to see if her visions have anything to do with Loser. Zane insists on tagging along. They break into Local Loser's basement. Miss Creepo shuts her eyes to try and get all psychic and stuff, and, I'm sorry, but LaToya Jackson was way more convincing shilling the Psychic Friends Network than Miss Creepo is here. She turns to one corner. "There. I see girls." Zane and Mike pull aside curtains to reveal a door. "That's got to be it," Mike says. They break down the door and find a little room with photos and magazine pictures of prom and beauty queens plastered all over the walls, plus a mannequin dressed as a homecoming queen. I think Courtney Love used to have a room like this. "What kind of sick and twisted freak is he?" says Mike. I guess Local Loser is a queen queen. Zane points to one of the pictures: it's Frosty, as the homecoming queen. "We wanted evidence. We've got it," says Mike. Meanwhile, Miss Creepo is pressing herself to the walls and getting all freaky, muttering, "I see a girl...dark hair...she's so unhappy...he's forcing her to put on makeup...wear dresses, put ribbons in her hair...but whatever she does, it's never enough." "Where are they?" asks Mike. "They're in a's small and dark...she's frightened," says Miss Creepo. Mike says he'll call Rudy, and gets out his cell phone. Just then, Local Loser barrels in and attacks Mike, strangling him. Miss Creepo slinks out. Zane comes up behind Local Loser and holds the cell phone to his head and Loser backs off, thinking it's a gun, until the phone starts ringing. "'s for you?" says Zane. Then Loser attacks Zane; Mike grabs a trophy and knocks out Loser. Aw, poor Loser. It's gonna hurt to wear a tiara after that.

Later, Loser insists that Rudy arrest Mike, Zane, and Miss Creepo, but Rudy points out that Loser used lethal force on Mike and served alcohol to minors and threw a party without a permit. Loser slinks out. The Beauty Queen Fetishists Association of North America expresses outrage.

Then Mike walks into the Hash 'n' Whore to meet Ellie, and tells her about Miss Creepo's vision of a dark-haired girl. Ellie points out that Miss Creepo doesn't even have her facts straight because all the missing girls are blondes. And Mike's like, "I know, but look at this," and suddenly he whips out this folder with information about Miss Creepo that he got from his "contacts in Portland," who, I'm guessing, are with the Federal Bureau of Plot Expediency or something.

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Glory Days




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