Night descends on the town of Glory. Also, whooshing wind noises and Background Music of Foreboding -- which sounds like the Halloween theme played backwards -- descend. The street-level fog comes in on big, clunky, anvil feet. Mike walks up to a creepy-looking house -- you know, one of those really old narrow houses; those Queen Victoria Of The Damned houses. He's wearing all black, and with his messenger bag, it kind of looks like he's carrying a valise, and you think, oh ho! It's reminiscent of that early scene in The Exorcist! Clever, that Kevin Williamson! Except you don't, because at this point you don't know what happens in this episode, and you're really fucking lucky, and I wish I were you.
Mike knocks on the door. A woman answers, and she's been crying, and she looks like hell, and she keeps the door almost closed in classic Go Away, Yet For Some Reason I Answered The Damn Door Anyway mode. "Mrs. McNeil?" Mike asks. "I'm Mike Dolan -- I'm here to see Robbie. I'm supposed to interview him for his profile in the Gazette." Mrs. McNeil says that Robbie's not "up to it" at the moment, and that they'll have to reschedule. She tries to close the door while Mike protests, "Mrs. McNeil...we've rescheduled three times already and I have a deadline..." Just then, a guy's scream is heard upstairs: "RAAAAAAAARRR!!!" Mrs. M. turns pale. Mike asks if everything's all right. There's another "RAAARR" and some banging on the floor upstairs, and then some noises that sound like the Tasmanian Devil hawking up a loogie. "Robbie's sick..." says Mrs. McNeil. Mike's all, "What's going on up there?" He shoves past Mrs. McNeil and starts walking up the stairs. For some reason, Mrs. McNeil just lets him. And then there's another moan -- "OOWUUUGGGHHHHH" -- which...well, sounds a lot like Pee-wee Herman pinching a loaf. "Is he all right?" asks Mike. Mrs. McNeil stammers that his "episodes" are "getting worse." Hmm.
Mrs. McNeil starts crying. Mike makes his way up the stairs. The closed captioning tries its damnedest to keep up with the barrage of spooky sound effects: "[CREAKING]"; "[RATTLING]": "[BANGING]"; "[GROWL] [RATTLING]." Mike manages to find Robbie's room -- which, helpfully, has a rattling doorknob -- and goes in. The room is dark and there's "[CREAKING]." Mrs. McNeil tries to follow Mike in, but the door slams shut behind Mike. Wind blows in through the drapes -- those white, fluttery, Custom Horror Movie Window Treatments. Mike closes the window and turns to see a teenage boy crouching furtively in the corner and convulsing, which doesn't seem strange at all until you realize there's not any porn in the room. Mike's like, "Robbie?" Robbie is making all kinds of weird noises and has a whole repertoire of voices ranging from MGM Lion to Darth Vader to the Hamburglar. "Can you hear me, Robbie?" Mike asks. "I'm not Robbie," says Robbie, or Stephen Hawking with his mic cranked up too high, or whoever. "Who are you, then?" asks Mike. Robbie rears up and says "I'M THE DEVIL!!!" in a voice that is just like Barry White having an asthma attack.













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