Glory Days
The Devil Made Me Do It

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Wendola: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Demons and Dorothys

Sam and Zane are cleaning tables at the diner when Robbie walks in. Aw, poor kid -- he looks like a young Anthony Michael Hall, except even younger and...well, dorkier. "Hey, Robbie! Heard you were sick," says Sam. Robbie awkwardly explains that, yeah, he was sick, but he's feeling better. Sam and Zane invite him out to a see a movie later. Robbie says sure, he'd love to, but then he's all, "Uh, but I've got to, uh, practice...but, yeah! I'll go...maybe...I'm just really behind on my Juilliard numbers." Zane says, "I'd give all ten of my fingers to play piano like you!" and Sam looks at Zane and says, "There's something fundamentally wrong with that statement," and memo to Kevin Williamson: the kids are doing just fine on their own, so stop writing such smart-ass dialogue for them. Robbie mumbles that his talent is really like a curse, and just then some lady with her hair in a bun and wearing a retro-looking suit and high heels walks in. She snaps at Robbie for being late to the concert hall. "That's an extra fifty rounds of Tchaikovsky for you," she says icily. "I was just talking with some friends," Robbie says petulantly. The piano teacher hisses, "Well, you'll have plenty of time for friends once you're a renowned concert pianist! Now, let's go!" Somewhere on the internet, submissive males with Suzuki-method D/D fantasies are feverishly posting fanfic devoted to her.

Over at Ellie's Kreepy Koroner Kottage, Sheriff Rudy "Ponyboy" Dunlop is trying to sing "Give My Regards to Broadway," with encouragement from Mike and Ellie. Rudy wants to try out for the community musical, too. Um, I'm not sure what the show's writers are trying to do with Rudy's character here. Is Rudy asserting his Not Gay status by going out for musical theatre, which, presumably, is the sort of thing only an un-gay male completely certain of his non-gayness would attempt? Or does he just want people to think that this is just his non-gay way of doing gay things while he's secretly way gay? And are we supposed to take his completely off-key singing as evidence that he's not gay, and, if so, are we to actually think that he's gay and that singing badly is something that non-gay people do on purpose when they're really gay? Anyway. He gives his regards to Broadway. Broadway doesn't know what the fuck to think.

Then Rudy's police radio starts squawking something about "trouble at the McNeil house," and he has to go on the call. Mike and Ellie are all, "Hey! We'll come with!" And Rudy's like, "Uh, it's a 911 call," and Mike and Ellie go, "Yay! We'll come with!" and Rudy's like, "Whatever." So they go to the McNeil house, which is easy to find because a convenient beam of unearthly light is pouring out of Robbie's bedroom window. Ma McNeil answers the door. Rudy's all, "Hi! I'm the sheriff here to bring you peace of mind! Oh yeah, and here's a local reporter and the town coroner!" Mike leads Rudy and Ellie up the stairs toward the sound of "[BANGING]." "Oh, God, somebody help me!" yells Robbie. His bed is bucking around and vibrating furiously. "Make it stop! Make it stop!" he screams, as he holds on for dear life. Jeez, kid, how many quarters did you put in that thing? Mike goes over and tries to hold the bed down. Robbie turns into the demonic persona that I will hereafter refer to as "Robeelzebub." He starts growling and hopping around and suddenly belches "GET OUT!" at Mike. Mike's like, "Eeek!" Robeelzebub knocks Mike upside the head, leaps off the bed, and runs out.

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Glory Days

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